Yesterday I had to travel to Jamaica, Queens to go to the DMV (Department of motor vehicles for my foreign readers) to obtain a NY State ID.

There was a big reason for this trip; namely that my Green Card is up for renewal in January. Due to the current anti-immigration policies taking place in America, I need to get some form of government ID just in case I get rodgered without lube in January.

For those of you who don’t know, once I apply for my new Green Card, my current one gets automatically extended by three years. However, I still need valid ID should a problem occur. I will have the old Green Card, and while it will still be valid, the expiration date on the card itself won’t be.

Before I go any further, here is a spanking pic for you if that is all you are here for.

As you can see, I had some fun with one of my own personal pics yesterday, and I love how it came out.

Here is how my fun day went yesterday, though.

To get to Jamaica from where I live involves a long bus ride and then two trains. Because the ID requirement is vitally important to me, I left well in advance to make my scheduled appointment. That was just as well really, because the bus journey alone took over an hour. Still, I arrived 45 minutes ahead of my appointment time.

Now, you will read horror stories all over the web about people’s experiences at the DMV, but let me start by saying that the DMV in Queens was extremely efficient. I arrived at 12:15pm for a 1pm appointment, and I was done and dusted before my scheduled appointment time even arrived. It wasn’t all easy, though.

First of all, I lined up at the front desk that the lady at the door directed me too. The lady at that desk then yells at me to stand to the right side. I’m trying to remain calm, but that is tough because I have a big mouth, lol. So I politely answered her. “You might want to put up a sign where you want people to stand.”

It is still efficient, though. The lady at the desk has everything you need, and she does the pre-checklist, which means by the time you get to the counter you already have your papers in order. However, one of the items that you need are two different letters addressed to you from businesses to prove your address.

One of my two documents was my annual SSA (Social security administration) statement. The lady at the desk wouldn’t accept it.

Now, I understand that it isn’t a conventional document, but my home is paperless when it comes to bills. The SSA statement is on their list of approved documents, and I can understand that it isn’t a usual document for someone to bring. A quick check on the list of approved documents should suffice for her, though.

Nope, I had to run my mouth again to get it approved. The document is mailed to me by the United States government. If you have to prove your address, is there another document anywhere that would be more proof of address than the one the government sent to you? I had to ‘argue the toss’ (British term) to try to apply some common sense.

All the papers are filled out, and next you stand in line to confirm your appointment with another worker. Trust me, and I know I am emphasizing it, but the system is so efficient, it really is.

So now I am at the counter, and I’m a little worried because the clerk keeps talking to the clerk next to her as she works on my papers. Just stay focused on my details for five minutes. The last thing I want is an error because a clerk makes a mistake by talking to someone else.

That soon became farcical because of a woman who approached the clerk that my clerk was talking to. Apparently this woman had left the DMV and her number was called during her absence, so, she had to join the queue at the back of the line again, lol, and she wasn’t happy about it.

It involved security, cursing, screaming, you name it. All the while I am trying to ask my clerk questions so that she can get back to finishing my paperwork instead of inserting herself into the argument next door.

Anyway, despite the New York state of mind, I was in and out of the DMV within 40 minutes, and the ID, which still needs to be mailed to me, only cost $6.50. A small fee compared to the $415 it will cost me to renew my Green Card.

Just figured I would share a vanilla story for a change.