I’m going to have to take a break from the blog for the next two or three weeks so you will have to be content with the thousand plus posts in the archives. Last night I received the sad news that my Brother/best friend had sadly passed away within the last couple of days.

Right now I have no further information and I will be talking to the local police in the UK in a couple of hours time. We were the only family that we had left so once I wake up in the morning there is going to be a thousand and one things to do,  and doing it from across the ocean is just going to make things that much harder. His mates have been wonderful and I know that they are going to help me with the logistics of this,  and I will be flying to the UK in the near future to help finalize all of the details,  but I’m going to have to rely on his mates for a good chunk of it.

The two of us were two years apart and we have been incredibly close our whole lives,  and pretty much every year for the last 25 years he has come to America to stay with me. I don’t know what the details are just yet,  but he has been in ill health most of his life. I’m deeply saddened of course,  but I wouldn’t want him to suffer any more than he already has. I’m going to miss him deeply.

Question Time

A reader of this blog by the name of jimc posed a few questions to me recently and I thought that it would make for a good post. Many times I am asked questions but for the most part it is done privately,  however,  as I am answering some here,  if you have a question for me then feel free to leave it as a comment on this post or shoot me an email at richardofwindsor@gmail.com

Here are Jim’s questions and I will do my best to answer them all as best I can,  and I don’t mind saying that some of these questions are pretty tough. I will try to intersperse some pictures throughout the post as well.

“Do you enjoy the weight of the person over your knee, do you enjoy the position, the submission, the outfits, the sounds of a spanking or are there other things that you seek when you play or don’t play as the case may be?”

So let’s start with the first one,  a very dangerous question for any man,  lol,  “Do you enjoy the weight of the person over your knee”?

Well I have to break this down before I even start. In order for me to do OTK I have to be sat in a straight backed chair,  full stop. There are logistics for this that come into play and they are vitally important for me. To start with,  I’m only 5’6″ tall and my legs are short  “28”  inseam”  and I’m a bit of a bloater. That means that the actual space on my lap is limited at best. Don’t get me wrong,  there is enough room for any girl to fit,  but unless I am in a straight chair my feet don’t reach the ground for balance. OTK on a bed or a couch simply doesn’t work for me,  my feet don’t touch the ground,  I’m not  ‘over’  the person,  rather I’m leaning backwards,  and after a minute or so the compensation that I am putting on my arm and back gets too much. I bet nobody ever thought so much goes into a spanking,  right? Quite simply,  I can’t get a decent swing otherwise and at best I offer no more than a tame spanking.

So before I even enjoy the weight of the person,  I have to set myself up properly.


With that said,  I don’t think that weight is the word that I would use,  but I do enjoy the human contact that is for sure. Whether it is in the otk position or if it was standing next to someone.

photo 4

Do I enjoy the OTK position? No question,  it is by far my favorite and given the choice I do it as much as I can.

What about the submission?

That is a tricky question for me because it all depends on the person and our relationship. There are times where no submission is required when you our just having a playful game of spanking,  but for other times it can be really hot. I thought about this one a lot today and how my relationships are formed both in the spanking world and in the real world.

There is no doubt that I can be difficult to have a relationship with if things aren’t great. Don’t get me wrong,  my barometer for friendship is so incredibly basic,  I’ll be friends with just about anyone. I’m completely drawn to kindhearted people so all someone has to do is be friendly to me. Conversely though,  and I will admit that this is perhaps my biggest flaw in life,  I’m more than content with who I am. That can really affect my relationships because I have to have the basic rules in place. If I ever feel that my company isn’t wanted,  or that my friendship isn’t that important to someone,  I can move on in a nanosecond. It might not sound like it but that can be a real problem with friendships/relationships.

It is a strange one really because I have no malice in my heart,  even if the heart is colder than most  🙂  While I have lost many friendships over the years in the scene,  I’m always here. The moment that someone wants to rekindle a friendship or make me feel welcome then I hold no vindictiveness. If I was a friend of someone once then I’m generally always their friend 99% of the time,  even if we never see or talk to each other anymore. A lot of these thoughts are actually from communications that I have had recently with an old play partner. When we stopped playing we had a bit of an argument,  but ten years later our friendship is back on track. There are times when you realize that you just weren’t compatible,  but I still hold no malice to anyone.

I’m also not going to lie,  and yes,  I have noticed that Jim’s questions are being replaced by my ramblings. When my mom died a few months ago it pretty much mellowed me a lot. Now there is just my brother and myself and while I am not thinking morbidly,  there are more yesterday’s than there are tomorrow’s,  I want to enjoy what is left with the people who want to enjoy me. I’ve always got my brother so I will never lose. I am brutally stubborn though,  I will never be anywhere that I am not welcome,  I have far too much pride for that. And that my friends is my biggest burden in life.

So submission,  there is far more to the word than just a simple answer. But in the right situation with the right person,  it is very hot.

Now asking me about outfits is like asking Stephen Hawkins about the universe,  I could talk for hours on it. In fact the answer is far too long to even include here but yes,  they are very important to me. I generally fall afoul of a section of women with this answer,  but it is an honest answer. I just ask that people separate what is MY opinion from what is their/society’s opinion. There is this vision that I have as to what constitutes femininity as it applies to me in the spanking scene. To save writing it here though I have already written a complete article on FEMININITY AN SUBMISSIONI’m a glutton for punishment,  what can I tell you? You just have to remember that I am only talking about my fantasy vision,  not femininity as a whole.


And now the final part of Jim’s question,  do I enjoy the sounds of the spanking or are there other things that you seek when you play?

I’m going to tap into my sadistic side here and tell you a tale of a spanking scene that I did on film. Now I’m going to say that almost every girl that I have filmed with has been into spanking,  but there was one time where the girl may have enjoyed spanking,  but perhaps she enjoyed it at a different level than we shot at. Being really honest,  and cruel,  I have to tell the truth here,  lol,  the girl had a super hard time getting through the spanking and kicked and squirmed like an eel throughout it. Because her reactions were so genuine,  I have to say that it was the hottest thing ever. We had a safeword in place just like they do on any set,  but she was a trooper and got through it,  and the look she gave me afterwards could have started a war 🙂

Yes,  I’m a perceptive person and any of a thousand things can make it for me,  a look,  a sound,  a comment. It all ties in to what we all call  “The dance”. Many years ago it was how Pixie and I became friends,  she knew how to dance. That sassy comment that puts one foot over the line,  where you aren’t sure whether it is sass or an innocent remark. Of course we all know what it is,  and you dance until it is clear to all. In that situation though it is the acceptance that is the most important,  never start sassing someone who you have no intention of letting spank you.

That is actually a good way to answer that final question,  what are the other things that work?

The dance works. A look,  a remark,  a haughty passing,  a flirt. It works for me if someone wants to play,  and they play the game that gives me the opportunity to play with them. It doesn’t take much to do and I’m pretty simple.

That last line just made me laugh actually,  I can imagine saying to one of my spanking friends  “It doesn’t take much to do and I’m pretty simple”

I can picture half a dozen of those girls saying right now  “Yes,  I noticed”

The dance,  that is something that I definitely crave.

Vanilla Sprinkles

Finally,  I have some time on my hands were I can sit down and write for a change. So I have my Hazel Dickens collection playing in the background,  lights turned down low and a clear mind to share some thoughts. It’s funny actually,  on my Facebook page a friend had posted this awesome picture of a child looking scornful with the caption  “The face of haters when they see something you wrote in their feed”. Hopefully that doesn’t happen here,  but I know that I am taking a chance being that most people come here for the pictures that I share.

The first thing that you might observe is that there are pages missing from the menu bar above. They are not actually missing,  what I have done is I have merged some of them to already existing drop down menus to create some menu space. I’m okay with two menu bar lines but I don’t want to go any further than that. What exactly I am going to replace them with I am not actually sure just yet. There are some thoughts that I have for special pages,  one of which you will read about in the paragraph below.

In a few weeks time I am going to go to a spanking party and a thought crossed my mind. One thing that has constantly come up is the popularity of my old spanking zone podcasts,  where I sit down and interview people in the spanking community. As there will be a number of known spankos at the party I might actually purchase a digital voice recorder and see if I can’t get a few 15 minute interviews. If you click the link above you will find a number of my old podcasts,  though most of them are my past Christmas radio programs that I did. There will also be some dead links which I have never gotten around to cleaning up. If I get some time on Sunday I am going to extract the audio from one of the interviews I conducted with Dana Specht. These are all done exclusively for her website,  but as some of them are up to 7 years old I doubt if she will mind if I share the audio from some of the older ones.

Now when I started writing I had no idea which direction I was going to go in,  I was thinking more vanilla but you know darn well that I can’t go long without spanking coming into it. Either way the post title will be a good place holder. It is actually my favorite way of writing,  just sitting down without a plan and seeing where it takes me.

One thing that I was thinking about on the way home tonight was my favorite spanking pictures. Now this type of thing could have me writing for hours as there are so many that I like. In fact this might take up one of the menu places above where I will write posts describing why I like certain pictures and perhaps including half a dozen pics at a time. I like to think that I am a connoisseur of spanking pictures and I could easily see myself writing a few paragraphs on around a hundred different pics or so.

With that thought in mind I am sure that everyone has a favorite picture,  or at the very least a favorite type of setting/ambiance/clothing/scenario etc that makes certain pictures more special to them. Now I’m never asked this,  but when I pose the question to myself,  the one picture that I think is the best discovery that I have made,  it probably surprises people. The one picture that I found that fits this bill is the college art project that recreates one of the most famous spanking pictures that exists,  which is the one for the Chase and Sanborn Coffee Ad. The picture is from 1954 and while it isn’t the best picture ever made,  the scene itself has been recreated untold times in pictures. So to find the copy that I did on Ebay was such a rarity that I was almost sick when I forgot to bid on it. Below you will see the original and the second pic is the college recreation from 1954.

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From a position of personal taste I will rarely,  in fact if I ever have,  post a picture that shows genitalia. That isn’t a knock on anyone as most websites and blogs features this,  it is just something that is not appealing to me. My focus tends to lean towards pictures that might be found in mainstream magazines etc,  or pictures that leave you with an impression that you can create your own story to. I’m a very visual creature and I almost think I am weird in what it is exactly that pushes my buttons when it comes to spanking pictures. There is not one thing in particular,  in can be a variety of different things. Here are two examples of what I am talking about.

This picture here is on my phone,  and it is my happy picture,  it never ceases to put a smile on my face. Should I ever get stressed then I just open the phone and look at the picture. Now why do I like it so much? It is very simple,  a thought once come to my mind at what I was seeing and it has stuck with me ever since. The person doing the spanking I believe is Aunt Vicki from Texas and it is the slight smile on her face that does it for me. It is a smile that says to me  “Oh,  so you think you are too old for a spanking do you”?  It is a thought that has stuck with me and I just love the picture.


Another picture that I love that I have never posted before is from Shadowlane. The picture features Virginia Lewis receiving what clearly looks like a rather painful lesson. It is one of those  “A picture is worth a thousand words”  type of pictures where I would love to hear a story about it. More than anything,  I would love to hear VIRGINIA’S version of events that led to this conclusion. It is a very hot pic,  as are the few others from this small set.


Part of the reason that I thought this morning that this would be a vanilla post tonight was during the journey into work today. Normally I have my coffee and I read the paper,  but today I pretty much spent the entire journey looking at the Manhattan skyline. I’m fortunate that I take an elevated train to work so every day I get to see New York and it reminds me how great my life is. I’m serious as well,  I find the skyline to be very humbling and I am appreciative for what I have. It was just a mellow ride all around,  thinking of family and where I am.

My family outside of my immediate family is not really close. It is kind of sad really that I don’t even know if all of my Father’s siblings have left us. My dad died in 1999 and I’m pretty sure that his brother and sisters have also passed away. My cousins on my dad’s side I literally could not tell you of,  I know there are some but I would have only met them when I was very young. Cousins on my mom’s side is also the same,  I had very little contact with them when I was young. Some of mom’s siblings are still alive. Two of her brothers died a long time ago and I was able to go to both funerals,  and of course mom died a few months ago. She does still have three sisters and two brothers living though. The reason that I mention that is because I’m not close to them so when it comes to family it is pretty much my brother and myself and that is it. Some of my older readers will know that I also lost a brother in 2009.

If you have lost people in your life then I think that you understand where I am coming from,  it makes you more appreciative for what you do have. There are a lot of good people in my life so I am really blessed by that,  and I don’t really have any regrets,  but I do wish that some friendships had stood the test of time. People drift apart though so that happens to everyone,  I’m sure that I am not alone in that. Some of my strongest friendships have developed during my time of need,  which of course are the times listed above with the family deaths. I’m generally a very strong character emotionally which is a trait that I am thankful for. There is this understanding in my mind that I can only control what I do and how I feel,  I cannot control that in anyone else. It isn’t something that I try to do,  if a person makes a decision then I’m okay with that,  it’s their decision,  not mine.

Now I have to take time out and tell you a story. As I have been writing this I have moved on from Hazel Dickens to Sarah McLachlan in my Amazon cloud player.

In 1997 I went on a camping trip with a close friend and two sisters who were friends of my friend. That year the sisters had lost their brother quite tragically. We were around the camp fire and there was a radio playing over by the tents. I was snuggled up with my lady friend and the sisters were opposite. The song  “Angel”  by Sarah McLachlan came on the radio and the sister closest laid back into her sister’s lap and started singing while her sister played with her hair. Man I remember it like it was yesterday. At that point I hadn’t lost any close family members,  but even then I got their bond in a nanosecond,  it was so beautiful to watch. A bit of a buzzkill I have to admit,  but it is something that I will always have as a memory.

That’s kind of what death does to you really,  you never forget who has your back during those times. That is why my brother and I are so close,  we have been through quite a bit so far. I know that we are not alone in that,  many of you have as well,  that is why I think that you will understand what I have written. It also puts your own mortality on the table and totally reminds me of that line in  ‘The Shawshank Redemption’,  “Get busy living,  or get busy dying” 🙂

I’ve certainly mellowed over the past year. A big part of that which I can’t deny was taking an extended break from the scene. It had got to the point where that strength of mine had become a weakness. That internal barometer that I have started to malfunction. It is my  “Take no shit”  barometer.

That will be the one area that I will try to improve upon this year,  I’m going to force myself to be more social. I’m still going to take my  “Me”  time,  but there has to be a balance. I also have to do some extra work in terms of playing. I think that if you recognize your weaknesses it helps you improve as a person. A definite weakness of mine is my far too laid back,  almost antagonistic approach to playing. What is my problem you may ask? I’ve got to be honest,  I just don’t give a fuck,  lol.

Seriously though,  I’ve never chased or played games or pined to play with anyone. There is this emotional barrier that I have that I have spoken of many times before,  if someone is not interested in playing with me then my interest in playing with them also hits zero. The emotional attachment is the strongest link for me,  it has to be there even in the smallest form of friendliness. Now I don’t mean that in a nasty way and I hope that it doesn’t come across that way,  it’s just that I am so secure with what I have and what I have experienced so far.

There is no denying,  I have received a hundred times more than I ever could have imagined in my WILDEST dreams,  it has been a beautiful journey. I want for nothing in the scene. Actually I will rephrase that,  I do want what I currently have because I love it.

Anyway,  I threw some vanilla sprinkles in at the end there to go with the earlier spanking stuff. I’m not even going to proof read it because I was just rambling. Maybe I will post it,  check all those emails people are sending me and then come back to it.

Ciao for now.

Real Life Setting In

There are times when real life issues take more precedence over frivolous activities,  and lately this has applied to me. I’m not coming on here to announce a break or anything,  but there maybe periods where,  like this week for instance,  there are more important issues to take care of.

A short while ago my brother and I acquired the knowledge that our mom was poorly,  and yesterday we were given a rough timeline of what we should expect. In situations like this there is never a definitive time frame,  and the one you are given can in fact prolong for far longer than was expected. Needless to say though,  our mom has been informed that there are not many months left. If there is a positive,  and she has been hospitalized for a week now,  it is that she is not in any pain. One can only hope that when she comes home next week that will continue until the time comes.

In regards to that it has been a pretty tough week in the guilt department. Not guilt in the sense of any regrets,  none at all in that area,  but guilt from the fact that my brother has had to do everything and I’m not there to assist him. Funny enough when I spoke to him yesterday in what was supposed to make me feel better about the situation,  actually made me feel even guiltier.

What I am able to offer him is relief from the stress associated with this. From America I can call all of the members of our mom’s family,  which,  for obvious reasons,  you can only imagine is a stressful time. As much as that isn’t my favorite activity,  I know that he is more than happy for me to have that one. I’m able to be there for him as well at the times he needs. The two of us have a very close bond,  and of course I know that we are related,  but I have called him my best friend practically my whole life. And finally I am in a position where I can relieve some of the financial burden from them. We aren’t talking anything grandiose,  but it is something that I can provide. That was actually where the guilt set in yesterday,  when he told me how much that last part has helped him,  not having to have that additional worry of finances. Of course I was able to read into that,  that this situation has taken a toll on him a bit. Like I said,  we aren’t talking a big deal here,  but he doesn’t have to worry about finding 50 quid from somewhere to buy a commode,  and I can understand the type of relief that would come from that.

I’m not into using this blog to write about morbid things,  but there are times where events in real life are more important. This is one of those situations where real life is going to have more importance than the blog pr playful correspondence. I will still continue to share my vast collection of rare spanking pics as frequently as I can,  perhaps with not as much prose attached to them until things are sorted out. At least if I don’t post you will be aware that I haven’t disappeared,  it is just that there are other pressing matters going on at present.

In regards to spanking though,  I found this funny picture on Ebay this week,  which gives a whole new meaning to the term  “Self Spanking”. Even though it is only a cartoon,  that is one dreadfully naughty girl right there 🙂 Perhaps one of my German friends can translate this for us?


In My New Digs

I’m finally settled in my new apartment,  still have a lot to do with fixings and stuff,  but the main part is done. The good news is,  after I return from Manhattan tonight I can actually make a new spanking post.

I was having a bit of fun with my spanking stories on Twitter this week. Did you know that I average 1 comment on my stories per 3,000 views,  a like 0.033 success rate 🙂


The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

It is par for the course for me,  I start to write with a plan in mind but it never turns out as I expected,  I just let the thoughts run free and take it from there. Now despite the title,  I’m going to be focusing on the first part and how really it has affected the other parts.

This was the year that I turned 50 years old and I made it a mission that this year was going to be my year. Not only did that prediction come true,  but some unexpected results came from it. It is very easy for me to say that the first six months of this year were the best that I have ever had. Those aren’t just words it is the truth. This year I was able to do some things that I had always wanted to do,  but more importantly,  the kindness of some had a profound effect on me.

Now I would like to say that it was all for the positive but unfortunately it wasn’t,  the way that I was treated as a person earlier this year had an effect on me that has lasted the year,  and perhaps it will last longer. Honestly,  if you had seen me at the 50 freaks party this year or at BBW I very much doubt if you would have been able to pry the smile off my face,  I was the happiest man on the planet. Even at BBW when I was disrespected I just shrugged it off,  well,  at least I thought that I did,  but in hindsight it was something that increased my pride in myself. Overall though I was blessed with kindness,  with kind people and I was made to feel like a king. Things that I always wanted I got and there couldn’t have been a happier man. Changes were produced as a result of it though,  but I guess in a way they weren’t changes because it was something that was always inside of me.

Respect has always been a huge thing with me,  it always goes back to the way that I grew up,  I saw some very dark times and I made a pact with myself many years ago never to allow myself to be treated less than an equal by anyone. Now don’t get me wrong,  when you attend spanking parties you’re not going to like everyone and certainly not everyone is going to like you,  but I treat it like a work environment,  you can still act in a professional manner when dealing with others. I’m not sure if it was because I turned 50 or because I was made to feel so good about myself but that professionalism started to wane as the year went on. It could also be that I have been doing this for so long now that my focus on what was good with life started to take more precedence as to what was important to me.

Earlier this year someone emailed me in a manner that I am not used to. The person felt that I was disrespectful to them and that I treated them as less than an equal. It was something that bothered me because one,  I felt that it came out of left field and the persons perception of what they felt that I thought about them was completely the opposite of what it was. Here is the deal though,  I can’t change the way that they felt and having been the recipient of disrespectful behaviour,  I actually sympathized with the person that I had made them feel that way. Of course I still disagree with it,  but I think that is in part because there was no deliberate act on my part. The was nothing malicious and I had no intention of being disrespectful to them,  but at the same time if they felt that way I can’t deny them their right to feel the way that they do. The one thing that I can do however is see it as a lesson and try to make sure that it doesn’t happen again with someone else.

This really is the crux of what I am talking about today I think. It is such a simple thing that it is hardly worth saying but I will say it anyway,  how hard is it to treat people respectfully? I’m not going to deny that I am confused,  inside of me there is nothing but happiness and I want to enjoy being with like minded people,  I have such a hard time wrapping my head around treating someone badly. Cousin Joe,  who is probably the nicest person that you are ever likely to meet in the spanking world,  has written about it numerous times,  we are a community with so few people that it is hard to fathom why some behaviors exist among our group.

Those behaviors have always been there I guess,  what I think has happened though is that my tolerance towards them have evaporated to a point that I no longer try to make nice with the people who I perceive treat me as a lesser person. Spanking to me isn’t any one of the games that are played. I’m not in this to be better than someone,  I don’t do it because I can spank harder,  spank longer,  spank better than anyone else. Despite the game that I have played along with for many years about Richard Windsor’s ego,  I really don’t have one. It is a part of my act,  the flamboyant part of my character that a lot of people enjoy. Quite frankly I am as humble as they come and if you have ever seen any of the “What would you do”  videos you will know that I practically always play the “Heel”  in the videos. I have been the asshole,  the stalker,  the over the top –  top,  in fact Mike Tanner and I even did our own version of Spankback Mountain!! Clearly an ego is not something that I take too seriously.

There was one incident at a party this year that bothered me a bit and it actually had nothing to do with me. A friend of mine was mocked because of their playing style. Not even though I wasn’t involved I am able to sympathize. I’m a very astute person and I see when people are trying to one up me,  I only wish they realize that by trying they have already lost. Most men can spank harder than I can,  they can certainly spank longer and dare I say they are more dominant than I am. The thing is though,  none of that matters to me. What I am in this for is the psychological aspect of what we do. They can spank longer and harder and better,  but they can’t have the one thing that I have,  fulfillment that I got out of something that I had always hoped for. It is impossible to match that. If I was to give something as simple as a playful birthday spanking and the interactions between me and my partner leave me fulfilled,  there is nothing that can match that.

It is pretty simple math really when you think about it,  be nice to people. The latter part of this year I think have been good to me,  there are some friends of mine who think that something bad has changed within me because of the way that I now interact with people,  but they need not worry in the least,  I can assure you that I am happier now than I have ever been. What has changed in me is my tolerance for dealing with people who treat me less than respectfully. It is something that I tired of and it has got to a point that I no longer try to make nice. Friendships have ended this year because of things that have been written about me,  things that in the past I would try to work around. It is something that I will no longer do,  my friends don’t challenge me in such a manner,  my friends like me and do what they can to make me feel important to them,  as I try to do to them.

Probably the one area that I do need to change though is how I deal with the people who always seem to have something shitty to say to me. As I said above,  my friends don’t do that so I can’t exactly call these people friends,  what I can do is change my approach to dealing with them.

My life has been so good this year and I have been blessed with such wonderful things that I have become spoiled. Where my friends feel that I may have become standoffish that is not a true reflection of who I am. What I am doing is that I am doing things that make me happy,  why wouldn’t I? The one thing that did change is my tolerance towards people who either don’t treat me as an equal or are always looking for ways to put me down. It is something that I no longer accept in my life. It is an old adage,  laugh with me,  don’t laugh at me. I’m no human pinata for anyone and I won’t tolerate that type of behavior. It almost came to a head at Shadowlane when one person who has never been friendly towards me put me down in front of a group of people. I tried to challenge the laughing fool but it went over his head. Here is the rub though,  I let it get to me to such a point that I fought back. That is the Richard Windsor from 1981,  not 2013,  and it is an approach that I need to change. There is a dark side to me and I suppress it with all my might,  I just guess that there are some people who want to push it to see what reaction they might get.

As I said earlier,  it is simple math,  just be nice to people. I think the hardest time that I have is that people don’t see things the way that I do. There is no hate or spite in my life and I can’t understand why people have it. If I don’t like someone I don’t make it a mission to make sure everyone knows about it. What is important to me are the genuinely nice people in this life,  and there are many of them, both men and women,  and I count my blessings that I have so many of them in my life. Actually I shouldn’t count my blessings because I make it happen,  I gravitate towards kind people,  they are what makes me happy.

There is nothing that I would change this year other than reacting negatively towards hate,  that isn’t who I am anymore. As time goes on everything always comes out in the wash,  it is a natural progression in life. You find out where you stand and most importantly of all,  you find out what you mean to people. My life couldn’t be happier.

So cut the bullshit,  change your life for the better. Focus on what makes you happy,  not sad. It was the reason that I left Fetlife,  it was no longer making me happy.

Point – Counterpoint

Something very different for you today in that I put myself on the line. In order to avoid any lead in to your thoughts,  I will post this exchange unedited and you are free to offer your opinion regardless of which side of the fence that you sit on. Seriously,  if your thoughts are the same as SpankBoss’ then please feel free to say so,  I have no problem with that.

SpankBoss and I have had a discussion this week and he stated that he has no problem with me posting this exchange on my site,  and likewise I do not have an issue with it as well. It would be nice to hear the feedback of the readers though regardless of where you stand.

On Thursday SpankBoss made THIS POST in which he took an edited copy of one of my sorority pics and refused to acknowledge via a link that I had contributed the picture to the community because I had put my name on the pic. SpankBoss didn’t actually say that he was the one who edited it so I’m not sure if he got it from my site or if another website had done the editing. Now his post made Chross’ Spankings Of The Week this week,  when I posted it back in Sept of LAST YEAR it did not make spankings of the week. Chross has had my version of the copy in his Newspaper Articles folder since October of last year so while I didn’t get a direct link back,  the pic was added unedited so therefore his viewers were still able to see that I had made the contribution.

So here is the deal. SpankBoss’ point is that I do not own the pics so therefore I have no right to deface them and he will not provide a link to my contributions as he considers it ethically wrong. He may not be the only one who thinks this way as I receive little to no links back in this area.

My counterpoint is that I have invested an incredible amount of time on this project,  as well as personal finance which is close to $400 at this point,  that I feel that there should be some respect in the community when my contributions are taken. It simply isn’t given. My hard work has become a source of pictures being taken freely and the acknowledgements that I receive in return are next to nothing. As this happens regardless of whether I put my name on one of my finds or not,  I go back and forth between putting my name on them to give myself the credit as the source before they are taken and edited.

So that is where we started our discussion and it is posted here in its entirety,  unedited. Your opinions,  whether for or against are most welcome. For the record,  in my sorority folder,  12 pics bear my name and 32 do not.  My Men Are Like Streetcars pics,  which according to my data I have never received a link back to any single pic that was taken,  9 pics bear my name and 15 do not.

I want to stress very clearly,  if your thoughts echo SpankBoss’,  then I want you to feel free to share them. I’m not offended in the least by his opinion nor will I be by yours. We have differing thoughts on the subject,  as I no doubt others will have as well. Here is our exchange starting with SpankBoss’ original comment,  and as I said,  I have his permission to post this here. You are also welcome to add your comments,  SpankBoss 🙂


By SpankBoss — It seems that this image may have been originally placed on the internet by that member of our community who is notorious for plastering his personal watermark all over spanking imagery he did not create (misbehavior that I have traditionally balked at encouraging,  either by reproducing the wrongly-watermarked image or by link credit in those cases). Fortunately,  I was able to come up with the watermark-less version you see here!

  1. Richard Windsor commented on July 11th, 2013:
    I don’t mind being called out on this issue if it is indeed me that you are speaking of. It is a double edged sword for me really,  giving a preference I would rather not put any mark on any pic and bring to the community the 100?s of unique pics that I have collected through both my time and personal finance. In an ideal world I could post unmarked pics and fellow bloggers will respectfully share the love I am sharing with them by giving my efforts a nod of appreciation,  but that doesn’t happen so I give my work my own nod. Now of course there are sites that deliberately will not give me a nod if I mark something,  but I am okay with that and I respect that choice.

    If you would like my thoughts on the topic though,  I would prefer never to add my website address to any pic,  but at the same time I would also love for my cost and time to be given some appreciation as a valuable contribution to the community. As much as I understand your dislike of people marking pics,  hopefully you would have some understanding that just the smallest amount of appreciation for my efforts would be most welcome,  but that of course is an ideal world.

    If there is any pic that you would like unedited,  just tell me which one and it is yours,  and I wouldn’t even want a link back to it. After all,  I am making this contribution to the community with kindness and a desire to bring joy to people’s eyes.


    Richard Windsor

    1. SpankBoss commented on July 11th, 2013:
      Richard,  I am sympathetic in one sense. I have contributed no few  “original”  scans to the web myself,  and I frequently do a lot of work cleaning up found spanking artwork that needs help. I know the frustration that comes of having it spread throughout the web without any credit. Since I blogged for many many years using a standardized 320-pixel image size that was unique in the spanking blog world,  it’s very easy for me to track the spread of many of “my” images without credit,  and they are ubiquitous at this point.

      Nonetheless,  in my worldview putting your name on a thing is to claim that thing. And when you have no moral claim to that thing,  it’s an ethical violation;  one that actively detracts from and degrades the utility of the thing you say you want to share. It’s just not something I can support,  no matter how much I understand the impulse that might lead a person in that direction.

      I have enormous admiration for the library of vintage images you have brought to the web,  and it is a source of abiding frustration to me that you’ve chosen to degrade so many of them contrary to all the ethics that I comprehend with regard to the use of other people’s content. It’s not about any one image,  it’s about a valuable library that’s been vandalized by the man who created it. I can’t imagine using one’s own name as graffiti,  but that’s what you seem to be doing,  to me. To my mind the considerable credit that’s due you for surfacing these images is precisely counterbalanced by your choice to deface them,  leaving nothing left in positive sum to acknowledge with a link credit. I know you won’t ever see eye-to-eye with me on this,  but it’s where I stand.

    2. Richard Windsor commented on July 11th, 2013:

      You may be surprised that we may indeed see eye to eye with certain aspects of what you say,  in fact I have debated it with myself many times. Should you visit my folders you will see as many unmarked as you would see marked. You are correct,  I have no right to claim something as my own,  even those pics that I purchased a single copy of for $20 and then shared with the community.

      I’m sure that you do see my frustration and I think the frustration is valid. There may be some pics that took me four hours to find and that I paid to get a copy of,  and I get a thrill making a new discovery,  and that is really where my frustration lies. It can take me four hours to find one pic yet it would take one person mere seconds to come and raid my archives and not even so much as give me a friendly mention. You are probably right,  I am depriving an audience of a clear image,  but then the blogs that take the material that I post and don’t mention that fact are also depriving their audience of a pretty decent collection of pics by failing to share that information with their viewers.

      It is a battle that I struggle with and I always welcome feedback,  even if it goes against what my feelings might be. I also have pretty strong ethics though I guess mine center more around treating people decently. In fact today I thought it might be a good idea to make a point/counterpoint post on my site with your opinion versus my opinion,  and done so in a way that wasn’t slanted. That of course would require your permission and it is just a thought.

      Now I am fully aware that there are people such as yourself who will refuse to give me a link back should my name appear on a pic,  and there are ten times more who won’t give me a link if my name is not on a pic,  so it is a lose/lose situation all around for me. Believe it or not I agree with you,  even if I have paid hundreds of dollars and invested more time than you can ever imagine on this project,  I should have no claim to this material. Perhaps I am misguided but the stance that I take is that if people aren’t going to acknowledge me regardless of whether my name is on a pic or not,  then I will acknowledge myself. As you will no doubt know,  rather than plaster my name all over the pics,  I always put them in a place where they can easily be edited out simply by cropping my name out,  as this pic itself shows,  my name was easily cropped out of the top left corner.

      It is an internal struggle and I quite often revert back to why I do it in the first place,  to share my collection with the community with pleasure. By revert back I mean that I will go weeks where I convince myself not to mark any pics and try and ignore the fact that I am being a supplier for other websites. I guess six to eight weeks go by and then I get grumpy and the lack of courtesy starts to bother me. In a nutshell that is what it comes down to for me,  if I got just the smallest recognition for my efforts then I wouldn’t mark anything,  but as I said I don’t get it whether I mark them or not so it is a moot point.

      Anyway,  I have taken up way too much of your time but don’t count your opinion out,  this may just convince me to ignore what I perceive to be a lack of respect and revert back to giving to the community without any qualifications at all. It IS why I do it after all,  I just have to convince myself that what I am doing doesn’t need any recognition. Yes,  I even question my own ethics and have battled the thought that I consider myself to be greedy,  as greedy as I consider others who take my efforts and present it as their own. Though I do consider myself a giving person though because if I was greedy then I wouldn’t share them at all,  and that just isn’t going to happen. What I have in my collection yet to be posted is mind blowing and needs to be shared with the community. Anyway,  thanks for your feedback,  it was appreciated,  even if it was to my own detriment 🙂

      Richard Windsor

      1. SpankBoss commented on July 12th, 2013:
        Sorry about the 2500 character limit,  it’s from the days when spam robots would post 10k word comments requiring mass scrolling in my moderation queue.

        You’re more than welcome to take anything I’ve said here and re-post it on your blog in any format you like,  as long as you don’t chop up the quotes so badly that they lose meaning (which I don’t imagine you would in any case).

        If as a consequence of these discussions you were to stop watermarking vintage pictures,  I’d be awfully glad. As I’ve said,  I’m extremely familiar with the emotional place you’re coming from,  and I’ve a ton of empathy for the impulse to mark your contributions to the community. In fact,  one reason Bethie stopped working on her Vintage Spanking Photos site (where she put an enormous amount of effort into restoring degraded vintage spanking photography with painstaking pixel-by-pixel removal of offensive watermarks and all kinds of other visual damage) is that she grew tired of seeing her painstaking restorations all over the web with no source credit. I think the final straw was when several eBay sellers started printing her restored photos on mugs and mouse pads and other such stuff and selling them online. She just didn’t have the heart to continue after that. So it’s a real problem,  no lie.

        Still,  at the end of the day,  I just don’t think that degrading these images in order to mark them is justifiable when one’s contributions (however valued and substantial) are curatorial rather than creative. Possibly one reason for the difference in our outlook is that I value linking to the best,  largest,  most true-to-the-original format of anything that I find on the web. Cropping a picture for presentation is something I do all the time,  but I usually try to include or link the closest-to-original,  least-cropped,  least-processed original as well. An image with watermarks is generally too degraded for that purpose,  as is an image that’s been cropped just to remove a watermark (sometimes removing valuable detail). Silly example:  we’re interested in spanking;  somebody else may be interested in hair styles or shoe styles or wallpaper patterns. A crop that seems  “harmless”  to us (a bit of wallpaper gone,  or somebody’s feet,  or the carved wainscotting) may seem terribly destructive to somebody with other interests. So perhaps these watermarks and resulting crops seem more like damage to me than they do to you.

Femininity and Submission

I’m going to try really hard not to put too many disclaimers on this journal entry,  I have my feelings and my thoughts and while they may not be understood or appreciated by everyone,  they are how I feel. This is a topic that I have spoken about previously and I likened it to the topic I had responded to entitled  “Are spanko’s homophobic”. In that thread I used the wrong phrase to describe my meaning and I lost almost everyone,  including my friends,  on the value of my opinion. Even to this day I really believe that my words were misunderstood on that thread (it is still on the spanking world for all to see) and what I was trying to say. The bottom line,  because of the way that I presented myself I came across as a homophobe and that is something that I am not. I’m not making any defenses here,  I accept that I was the cause of the feedback that I received and I take ownership of it. What came out of it was that some friendships actually grew,  not because I was agreed with,  but because I stood my ground and took the feedback like a man. On the other side of things it allowed some people to vent some feelings towards me which were probably bottled up. Again, it isn’t a bad thing,  90% of the people respected what they perceived my opinion to mean,  though they disagreed with it,  and many of them I have since played with. Others set the bar that told me that I would never play with them,  and if I’m really honest,  I would probably be the last person they would want to play with anyway.

The intro was posted for a reason. There was also another thread where I expressed my views on femininity,  which also did not go the way that I had hoped 🙂 On this topic I very much stand by what I say,  but once again I used a keyword that was insulting to certain people. I’m very much a sucker though and I am going to go there again,  only this time I hope to define exactly what I mean in a clear and concise way,  so this will be my only disclaimer.


These views express the triggers that turn me on in the spanking world,  they are what work for me and the reasons why they work for me. This isn’t really about femininity,  this is about my own personal journey,  experiences,  fondness for and appreciation of what I personally perceive to be girly. There are many aspects to femininity,  just like there are aspects to any other criteria that one wishes to apply,  what is described here is my own personal criteria towards one certain aspect of femininity that works for me. Actually there are many aspects to it,  it’s just that the last time people got hung up on the phrase  “Girly girl”  and the daggers came out. Try to remember,  we are all allowed to have our strong feelings as to what works for us individually,  these happen to be mine and I have no doubt that yours are different to mine. However,  if you just have something bad to say about anything and everything as a natural part of your everyday routine,  I’m probably going to give you a plateful here to digest 🙂

This is something that goes back as far as I can remember,  and you have to remember that I am 49 years old so I go back a long way. When I grew up in England in the 1970’s,  when I was first starting to develop what I perceived as my sexuality,  the women and girls all wore dresses and skirts in those days. Of course there were jeans and pants on occasion,  but for the most part it was the former that was everyday wear.

Now to start with, think of your own triggers in regards to spanking, what it is that works for you and why that came about, or even when that came about. There is one segment of English spanking society that goes for bottle green gym knickers or navy blue ones. Go to any English spanking site and you will see that fetish is still something that is very much alive. For me, I don’t get it, I positively loath gym knickers and won’t even so much as watch a film where the girl is wearing them, but you know what, I DO understand why they are so personally appealing to a lot of people. That is what their spanking origin was, what they witnessed at school, what their fantasies were at the time based on what they were seeing. I understand it because that is where my fantasies developed, where my early experiences were, what my perceptions were. It’s just that my origins were different to theirs, but the fundamental approach was the same.

Where I differ from some I think is how deep of an impact my early life had on who I am today in regards to this world of ours. I’m not sure if it is the same for everyone else,  whether it has little to no impact on them or not,  but for me it very much does. From time to time I have spoken with Tony Elka (Richard  ‘Name dropping’  Windsor) on the issue in regards to Shadowlane videos. Now let me start by saying that the reason they are my favorite video company is that their aesthetic appeal remains to this day as it did back in the 1980’s,  it’s just for me that the videos of the 80’s,  along with those done by Nuwest at the time,  more closely represented what “DID IT”  for me,  far more than what the English videos did. I can’t help the fact that the early videos strike such a cord with me,  that was my early view,  my early experiences and my early fantasies all rolled up into one.

We are now in the year 2013,  but when I started dating girls we are talking around 1977. The spanking feeling had always been with me even though I never understood it,  and this was a time when spanking in everyday life was quite prevalent. Girls back then didn’t wear bottle green knickers,  let me assure you of that. It was a while before I had my first spanking experience but I had become enamored by girls dressing pretty,  so while I had no experience to speak of,  what I did have were fantasies by the bucket load. The first girl that I spanked had on a short blue skirt and underneath it she wore white nylon panties as everyone knows by now,  and I am sure that this is where I differ from everyone else,  it had an effect on me like nothing else has ever had an effect on me. In the three months after that spanking I did spank her a few more times but the relationship waned from there,  but my appreciation for the female body had been set in stone by that one relationship.

It is time for TMI Tom to come out now as I am about to share with you my views on how it affects my domination,  and I will be the first to admit that mine are pretty neanderthal. There is nothing that turns me on more psychologically than a girl dressing as I envision them in a time gone by. We are talking about the true girly girl here,  ribbons,  bows,  ruffles,  silks,  satin’s,  nylons,  even down to cute pajamas. I think sometimes people perceive that I like just one thing but I don’t,  there can be a 1000 combinations and variations of what I perceive to be feminine,  and not just the clothing but the attitude as well. My feelings can be seen as chauvinistic,  and perhaps they are,  but this is solely in relation to my spanking life. Actually,  check that,  I think it applies to my real life as well because the more girly a lady dresses,  then the more attention I will give them. Case in point,  the very first time that I played with Missy was at BBW two years ago. We had planned that it was going to happen and I had decided to dress dapper for the evening event. It wasn’t that I was waiting for Missy,  I was engaging in regular conversations in the ballroom. In fact I will go one better than that,  when what I am about to say happened I was talking to two guys and they were being incredibly rude and patronizing. They had taken the name Richard Windsor and because of that alone they were displaying ugly jealousy because I got to play with certain girls. Funny that I remember that clearly as I tried to smile and be friendly. Anyway,  as I stood there in an uncomfortable manner I caught a glimpse out of the corner of my eye of a woman wearing a white dress. Immediately,  and I do mean immediately,  my hormones kicked in and the alpha male rose within me. I had no idea who it was,  but I darn well was going to find out just as soon as I could excuse myself from the conversation I was in. Anyway,  with very little dignity I turned to find the girl in white to find out who it was and what my approach would be. Imagine my surprise when I saw that the girl in the white dress was actually Missy!! I was flabbergasted!! Even more so that I knew she had dressed with me in mind. Of course the bar that she set was far higher than the one that I imagined.

That’s what it does to me,  the more girly a female is then the more dominant and confident I feel,  and again by girly I mean how it is seen through my eyes. I really don’t know why it is,  I haven’t worked this part out yet,  when a girl is dressed in what my perception of femininity is,  it makes me become the alpha lion,  in a sort of caveman mode. Perhaps there is some deep rooted psychology in play,  but I want to ravage them,  and by that I mean in the sadistic spanko way,  it is testosterone fueled for me.

Now I am going to get even deeper here and talk about when a girl dresses especially with me in mind.

Overall I think that I am a confident person,  though I am also quite a stubborn individual full of respect,  pride,  loyalty and passion at times. Disrespect me and you will find that out,  I am a very proud man and while I am understanding,  once pushed over the line there is really no coming back. It is that old British stiff upper lip thing that they talk about from days gone by,  somehow that gene got passed down to me. On the other end of that I am as loyal as a dog,  and this comes into play when someone does something for me. I’m a very,  very strange character in this regard,  certainly as a member of the male species. This I know goes back to my childhood because we were as dirt poor as dirt poor could be,  and I suffered an awful lot of cruelty on top of that.

Why do I bring that up? Well it’s because I think that I am very different to other guys in that the smallest thing can have the biggest impact on me. I have notes,  trinkets,  items of no value whatsoever that have been given to me over the years that I have kept. I even have withered flower that was once affectionately placed in my hat at a party years ago. As complex as I am as an individual,  I am also incredibly simple,  when someone does something for me with affection,  it means more to me than it does to the average person. It means to me that I have the acceptance of that person and they in turn have my loyalty. Materialistic items have little appeal to me,  but personal ones have a lot of appeal. That is the area where I am at my most appreciative,  when I am thought of. Unfortunately with the ying comes the yang and I tend to become overly stoic and unresponsive when I feel that I am being disrespected,  betrayed or used. It is worth mentioning because there is little middle ground for me and I am fully aware that that can be seen as a fault. Acceptance is vital for me though. It might be strange to hear a guy say that so openly but it is nonetheless true,  I’ve had my share of bad times,  very bad times,  that is why I only accept good ones now. Seriously,  I  “could”  write a pity party book as to the treatment I have received during my life,  but I won’t and I never will. Just trust me,  if you know what I have gone through you will understand why I will NEVER allow myself to be treated badly under any circumstance,  ever,  by anyone. The only person who would get away with that is my Brother. The people who treat me right have my loyalty and the more valuable that I am in that person’s eyes,  then the more valuable they become in mine. That goes for both men and women. In a way I have kind of gotten used to it by now,  but when I first started meeting people they put me on a pedestal that I don’t belong on,  and subsequently they would be surprised that I was just a humble old man. That’s the thing though,  they treated me right and therefore they became valuable to me. It doesn’t matter who it is or what their story is,  I have become friends with so many wonderful people over the years,  people who I would have never envisioned being friends with.

If you are a female then you may have fallen prey to this yourself,  and if you have then you know it,  so what I am about to say will be no surprise to you. My interest in playing comes directly from the girl. If she is gung ho and has contacted me,  asked me what I like,  expressed a desire to play with me,  or done something with me in mind then my interest level is at its pique. Don’t get me wrong,  a girl doesn’t have to ask me to play for me to understand that she wants to,  I am very astute in that area,  she is able to give that vibe without saying so. You have heard me say it a million times already,  it’s the one thing that I am the best at,  I know who likes me as a person and who doesn’t,  unquestionably,  and I act accordingly. Doesn’t mean that I get all bitchy and in your face,  I still have morals and ethics that allow me to be polite,  however,  the stronger the feelings are then the stronger I am likely to react,  either positively or negatively. If a girl is ambivalent to my presence and has an attitude of  “Maybe we should play later”  then my response is equally as ambivalent  “Yeah,  maybe we should,  or maybe we shouldn’t,  whatever”. Lastly of course we have the girls who have a strong feeling about wearing something with another person in mind. Now don’t get me wrong,  I am all for empowering yourself and if that is one area that is a red flag for you then I am cool with that. Generally the response in which I am not agreed with is in the form of  “Well I wear this and I wear that and this is how I act,  either love it or leave it”. Well thank you for your honesty,  I will probably take the latter thank you.

I admit to being spoiled,  perhaps if I wasn’t then I wouldn’t feel this way,  but I am blessed with some of the nicest girls as play partners that I know who understand me and likewise,  I understand them. My life is full of positives,  that is where I am spoiled,  and I am so very fortunate that I have these special people in my life to play with. The door is always open for anyone to come through,  however a lot of people choose not to and that is okay. In a way I think my attitude rubs off on other people,  I want to be happy,  positive,  loving and seen as a person who loves and enjoys life. If you understand where I came from then you will understand why I want positiveness in my life. Fortunately my acceptance is limited to individuals,  I have little to no desire to seek acceptance or approval from a group,  my interpersonal dynamics are strong and nothing will ever take that away from me,  nor the girls that I share them with. Time sorts everything out,  if you stick to your morals and principles everything that is meant to be will be.

So with that in mind let me delve into the scenes that I crave and what they mean to me,  and indeed what the people mean to me. Based on what I have said so far,  can people understand why I fawn over the girls who do something for me in regards to my play?

My views on femininity are not just tied to clothing,  though it is a huge part of it,  my views also extend to demeanor. This one is going to be hard for me to put into words but I will give it a shot,  but in a nutshell,  the more submissive a girl is to me then the more dominant that I become. Dressing with me in mind is a form of that submission,  when a girl does something for me it empowers me,  makes me growl in anticipation. Let me try to give you an idea of what I mean.

It is much to my own detriment that I am about to say this,  but I NEVER watch my own videos,  they were made to make money and therefore that is what they mean to me. I do fairly well with them but on a personal level they were a job. Now,  the personal videos that I have recorded,  I watch them over and over again. What those videos are capturing are real scenes being played out,  and every video that I have has aspects of the submission that I crave. In those videos I watch my demeanor in how I interact with the girl in question. For her part she has dressed to the nines with everything that I love and it has empowered me so much that I watch my own performance and say to myself “That’s hot”. One video in particular I have watched dozens of times,  it is a gift that I treasure,  a gift that allowed me to be that unwavering strict dominant.

Submission to me is a package deal and as I mentioned at the start,  I can’t help what does it for me. At the BBW party on Saturday night Missy had said to me  “Can you please let me know when you are going to bed because I want a bedtime spanking from you”

Here’s the thing,  right there Missy told me that I was important to her,  not that I don’t know that anyway,  but she had one bedtime spanking in her and she asked me to give it to her. Missy is the coolest roommate on the planet and I am so glad that we have an unique dynamic. During the party we do our own thing,  we both have people that we want to play with and we both have people who want to play with us,  and we even play with each other during the party itself outside of our hotel room. It is such a great dynamic because at the end of the night,  far from being jealous or envious of anyone,  we actually sit down and chat and tell each other of all the wonderful experiences that we have each had that day and the wonderful people that we have encountered. The bedtime spankings are the best. Pajamas have their own unique special appeal anyway,  I think that most people can agree on that one,  so they put me in toppy mode right from the get go. The bedtime spanking can be gentle or it could be hard,  either way it doesn’t matter because I am in charge of how it proceeds. Once it is over comes the best part,  I generally find that I have a fuzzy kitten beneath me who has curled up into a ball,  sidled up to me with my arms around her and we fall asleep like that. Now tell me,  does that not sound like a wonderful dominant/submissive dynamic?

Missy and I are still exploring the foundations of our own personal dynamic,  but I really like where it is going. She  ‘gets’  what it is that I like,  even though perhaps initially she didn’t quite understand why. If you look at her now though,  I think she will be the first to tell you that when she dresses  ‘girly’  it makes her feel more submissive inside. That is exactly the feelings that I go through,  only mine are on the other end of the spectrum in that it makes me feel masculine. It really seems pretty simple to me,  if a girl wears something to a scene that the guy has asked for,  it is a form of submission. There is the comfort factor I think for her as well,  I’m a safe person,  a secure one,  someone who she can just talk to without being judged.

You may think that by reading what I have written so far that things are quite complicated for me,  but in reality they are not. I just happen to know what I like and what is important to me. At parties I will play with just about anyone who wants to play with me,  that really isn’t an issue,  what I am talking about here are those special times that become important to me.

In a way I am pleased with myself that I am not flaky,  there are clear lines for me. There is a reason why I talk so much about Missy and ellee,  they get me,  they understand why things are important to me. The most important thing of all though is that based on that knowledge,  they go out of their way to make me feel special. That is why they top the Windsor tree and why they are very special girls to me,  they make me feel important and in turn they are important to me. There is a certain dynamic that I have with each girl and no matter what,  I will still have that with each of them at the end of the day. They both have their own dynamics with others as do I,  but in some small part we have our own dynamics and I treasure that.

So let me sum everything up as I feel like I have rambled a lot and perhaps I have made this journal entry so hap hazard that nobody will understand what I mean.

Femininity –  In my eyes it equals girly girl. Please don’t think that it consists of one item or one scene or one structure,  it doesn’t. It isn’t only about style of clothing it is about demeanor as well. In this instance we are talking about a spanking dynamic,  I love the vulnerability,  the resignation of submission,  in my mind it is an old school male/female dynamic. The prettier that a girl dresses then the more that I invest myself in them,  and pretty in this instance is arbitrary. I would find a girl wearing 27 bracelets,  wild 80’s hair with a pink streak in it,  and wearing sweatpants as sexy as I would a girl dressed head to toe in virgin white. Each one has an area of femininity. Don’t worry if you think that I am weird,  you wouldn’t be alone,  I’m quite used to being mocked for what I like. You would be surprised at what I have remembered with special people over the years. From the very first spanking that I gave when I joined the Internet,  Pixie wearing rings on all 10 fingers and thumbs and standing in the kitchen making salad wearing just a t-shirt and panties,  to the very last,  ellee as a schoolgirl wearing panties that almost made me make an audible sound when I revealed them. She doesn’t even know that as I have yet to tell her,  but they were perfect and took me back so far to a pleasurable time in my life. Throughout my entire journey there are so many highlights that I recall fondly and therefore I likewise remember the girls just as fondly. What I remember increases ten fold when I know that they girl wore what she wore with me in mind.

Submission –  It takes many forms,  but my view is pretty basic. I consider submission as a gift to me personally,  that is what it is at its core,  a gift. This is all to do with demeanor. The girl can dress the prettiest on the planet but if her demeanor is self centered then her appeal to me is limited. Trust me,  I realize that what I am saying makes me pretty self centered,  but everything that I say is reciprocated. As an example,  when I did a scene with Alex and ellee it was done so with what I knew about them in mind. I spanked ellee first for a reason,  and my reason was because I thought that Alex would get more from standing in the corner listening to ellee get spanked first. In Las Vegas I spent the entire Sunday morning trying to get into Alex’ head,  even though I was in public with a group I stayed in character,  dressing snazzy and appearing stern. It worked because she noticed it,  and it was deliberate on my part. So while the scene itself was a relatively short time,  the scene had begun for me,  though it was actually done so for HER,  an hour before we even played. What she wanted was important to her,  so I did everything within my power to make it perfect for her. I’m pretty deliberate there,  just like when a girl is doing something for me to make me happy,  in return I do my best to do for them what it is that makes the scene work,  I invest myself a lot for that purpose.

Many people know what I am talking about when I talk of my feelings towards domination and submission,  it is all about giving each other a gift. It took me many years to work that out and now I am beginning to fully understand it. What it essentially comes down to for me is that when submission is given,  it empowers me to feel even more dominant. I can’t help going back to the Snow White analogy,  she is supposed to be sugar and spice and all things nice,  but she just makes me feel sadistic,  like it is the polar opposite of what is supposed to happen. There has to be some deep rooted evil in me,  don’t you think?

When I summarize what it is that I like in my own mind there is a question that I am frequently asked that keeps popping up,  and the question is really just based on a consensus of comments that are generally thrown around. “Why do I get to play with so many people”?

Maybe this is my ego talking but I think that I know the answer,  and if you disagree with me then by all means feel free to tell me so. I think that the answer to this is based on my ethics,  I believe in being nice to everyone unless they make it known that they really don’t like me. There are a great many people who I don’t do it for and I’m able to see that right away,  which is why I really don’t waste my energy or their time trying to make it happen. That doesn’t mean that I don’t like them or they are not very important people in my life,  we just don’t have that spanking connection but I love them just as much as the people I play with. There are also old fashioned values that I adhere to and I think that girls enjoy this. If something is needed to be said that I will handle it on my own,  in person. Mostly,  and this will make me sound like the biggest egotistical prick of all,  I really don’t give a flying fuck whether I play with someone or not no matter who they are. You take everything that I have written so far and piece it together,  I have the best playmates on the planet,  and the planet we are speaking of is my own planet. Criteria has to take place for me to make it work for me,  so how can I miss out on anything when I am not getting what I want out of it? I’ve never once asked the question to myself  “Why is she playing with him and not me”? because I view it differently,  I view it very selfishly indeed because I have my answer before the question even crops up. The reason that I am not playing with her is because she doesn’t do it for me or I don’t do it for her. It almost feels like a superpower in this world of ours,  I never worry about the Jones’  and what they have,  simply because they don’t have what I have. For me it has to work for me to want it,  with no disrespect meant to anyone,  you guys are entitled to your triggers also.

This is something that I see as confidence which I believe is a trait that is viewed positively. Even if it is egotistical confidence it is still far better than appearing whiny. When I did something at BBW I didn’t even think twice about it,  but it has been mentioned so much since that time that I have come to appreciate it myself,  and it is to do with confidence. On only one occasion did Missy forget her room key at the party and she knew what my reaction was going to be to that. When I got to the room she started to give her explanation about what had happened,  but I just pretty much ignored her. As she talked I simply went about my business of emptying my pockets piece by piece,  that is the one thing that is constantly mentioned to me. Now that I look back on it even I think that it is hot,  it really didn’t matter what she had to say,  she was getting spanked. That’s why I am starting to get this whole world of domination,  the girls in the room thought that it was hot that I confidently went about my business of preparing for Missy’s spanking whilst she tried to plead her case. Once I had finished emptying my pockets I sat down and called her over and gave her a spanking. I was thinking about it through my eyes and I didn’t think much about it at all,  that was what was supposed to happen,  but now that it has been pointed out to me numerous times I can appreciate it for myself now,  that is exactly the whole domination/submission thing that I am talking about.

I understand that what I have said in the last few paragraphs makes me sound like an egotistical prick,  but I’m afraid that it is nothing but the truth that I am speaking. In order for it to work for me,  I have to work for the girl,  and if I don’t then I am simply not interested in playing with her. That’s why I am successful and probably why I am always happy. A lot of people worry about what they are not getting and it is the one area where I am blessed the most,  how can I worry about what I am not getting when I didn’t want it in the first place? A lot of you may read this and think that I put WAY too much into thinking about what works for me,  but think about it for just a minute,  perhaps I do,  but I also think that I get the biggest rewards when I get what I am looking for. My pinnacles aren’t about spanking as many bums as I can or collecting the biggest coup of women that I can find,  it’s not about how hard I can hit or how I am perceived by others,  whether I have a place in this group or that group. My pinnacles are about connections,  and when I get those connections they are magical and powerful. I’m never in competition with anyone because they can’t compete in my world,  I love what I have,  what I want and what I like. It isn’t anything that can be taken away from me. I’m dead serious when I say this,  I can play with one girl for an entire party,  for one scene tailored especially for me,  and I think I would walk away from that party far more enriched than some guy keeping a calculator of how many girls that he has spanked that party.

On a deeper level it also plays a role in my interpersonal relationships,  I know how people are supposed to be treated and how they are not,  and my interactions follow the same path as they do within the spanking world. Good equals good and bad equals bad and all that,  but that is not really the focus of what I am talking about today.

Let me finish up for now with the final statement.

Far from anyone reading this thinking that I seem to be confused,  let me assure you that I am not. The reasons that I enjoy myself so much at events is because I am afforded what I desire in spades,  and it doesn’t matter to me if it happens once or if it happens ten times. I’m unable to miss out on anything because what I want is given to me. For things to work for me then my play partner has to be interested in me and just as importantly,  what it is that I like. It isn’t a one way street,  likewise I will go out of my way to make other people happy. In fact it is fair to say that many times I will play solely with the other person in mind,  after all,  let’s be fair,  if I expect girls to understand me then I had better darn well understand them as well.

If you can make head or tail about what I have written here then perhaps you can understand why I can never be disappointed at a spanking party,  the positive interactions are so important to me and they are what I strive for,  so I spend my time seeking them out. If it isn’t positive then it can’t be negative because it would have been a non starter for me in the first place.

Now I am fully aware that my ramblings here are a bit jumbled,  in fact I started this last Thursday and it was only today that I actually found my writing rhythm which is perhaps why the latter part of the post may read better than the opening. Just to make sure that it wasn’t too jumbled I asked Missy to review it and give me her feedback,  I wanted to make sure that it could be read and understood as I envision it in my mind. Please don’t make an assumption on any part of this,  if there is something that needs clarification then please ask me. Like I said,  these writings were done over several days so my mind may have wandered a bit. Perhaps if it isn’t clear in peoples minds I will write it again and try to be more concise,  but just be aware,  I am a happy man and hopefully this writing will give you some understanding as to why I am happy and content. It isn’t possible for me to be unhappy because I’m blessed with fantastic people in my life and hopefully there will be more to come.

The Happy Zone

No matter what,  everything will fall into place. Seriously,  how can you control what can’t be controlled. You either adapt to what it is or you reshuffle the deck and the cards will fall where they will.

One of the favorite sayings that I have heard goes along the lines of  “You will never know the moments that you will remember for the rest of your life”

For 2013 I set a goal to make it the best year ever and that goal is so far on track there is nothing but happiness. Normally when I go into a spanking party I am a bundle of nerves but strangely for the Boardwalk Badness party I wasn’t. With over 250 people I knew that the cards were going to fall in place.

There were many important things that happened this weekend and I didn’t force any of them,  they were either going to solidify themselves or they were going to pass by. There was a strange comfort to this approach,  and I don’t think there was any area of importance to me that surprised me. What I thought would happen,  happened. In some cases it confirmed the high platform that I stood on,  and in other cases it confirmed the various other platforms that were present.

Here are some of those important things.

The primary one was the final conversation that I had with Missy in relation to me. We had another conversation but the focus of that was different. If there was one area that I had a hard time with this weekend it was letting people down. Missy helped me with this.

Quite frankly I have never played with that many people in my life at one party,  nor did I anticipate how busy I would be with greeting,  organizing,  assisting,  preparing,  filming,  playing and guiding. There was not a single time that I was unhappy about any of it. If I left the ballroom to go to my room I did so with a smile on my face,  knowing that I was likely to get halfway there before I would have to turn back to show someone where they needed to be. It made me feel good. By the second night my voice was beginning to go and we had so long to go.

The only drawback that I had was that so many people wanted to play,  and I wasn’t able to play with everyone. That one did affect me. It almost sounds pretentious as a top to say that really,  but I know of at least four people who wanted to play who I wasn’t able to play with,  and that annoyed me. I also let someone down and that is something that really did make me feel bad. It isn’t even something that I can really control as I didn’t anticipate how little time I would have,  but seeing that disappointment on someones face bothered me tremendously. Eventually it will fix itself,  and the cards will fall where they will,  but for now I am annoyed at myself.

Missy helped me a lot with that in getting my mind straight. I knew what the answers to those thoughts were,  but she verbally said them to me. I just simply cannot play with everyone and neither can those people have an understanding as to how little time that I had. It is what it is and the cards will fall where they will.

Aside from all of that,  which was basically trying to ensure the happiness of others,  there were things that were important to me and my own happiness. Some very important things as well.

Nothing was going to disappoint me,  at a party this size ones expectations have to be tempered. The things that were important to me were to be granted an audience in some form. I got far more than I ever expected and for that I am so very grateful.

I’m such a simple person really,  easily pleased. The people that I expected an audience with I got,  not from my doing but from theirs. Just that simple act elevates those people in my mind and what I mean to them and likewise,  what they mean to me. Regardless of any play,  there were certain people whose piece of my heart they own, that they will always own that piece after this weekend.

One thing that I wasn’t going to do this weekend was force anything. If there is an environment that I don’t feel that I belong in,  or that I am not welcome in, I didn’t even try to belong there. I belong in places that please me,  and the people that do please me are sitting at home completely unaware of how highly I value them as individuals. Some of these people I didn’t even play with this weekend but they showed me that I belong in other ways.

There were even a couple of times that I should have been disappointed with the way things turned out,  but I’m not. The good that I felt this weekend far outweighs anything. So what are some of the good things?

Knowing that someone important to me was waiting for me,  perhaps even turning down play to ensure that time spent with me would happen. That was perhaps THE most important event of the weekend,  and the happiest one.

Taming the tiger.

Strengthening a friendship that had been on a temporary hiatus.

Bedtime spankings and contentment.

Being asked to sign a report card.

Receiving a text after BBW from someone who I have known a long time but have rarely played with until this year.

Dropping a man point to Alex.

Knowing that Missy is comfortable enough with me that she can be feisty. Knowing that she can say things that will get her spanked even though she tries so hard not to say them. It is a good place to be,  the battle between good and evil,  it is a confirmation that all is so very good.

Setting a rule a following it. Only one rule and my roomie followed it for the entire weekend with the exception of the final hour where things crumbled. Almost an entire weekend passed. Unfortunately we adopted an orphan on Sunday who broke the rule herself. Do you know how empowering it was to say  “Under this roof you follow my rules”  and then deliver a short sharp immediate spanking. It was so good that the poor girl was frazzled for an hour afterwards wanting to make sure she didn’t break the rule again. A total trippy headspace.

Making sure I caned someone who I had caned at Shadowlane a while ago. I felt good that I was able to meet that request.

Seeing Laura on Monday morning and feeling disappointed. A surprising thing to view as important,  but I had spent a period of time looking for her the night before to ask her to play and I didn’t find her. It is important because it is something that I can right in the future. I wanted to play with her as much as she did with me,  if it is meant to happen it will do so at the next party.

My reactions. There were occasions that I should have felt disappointed,  but I didn’t,  they are what they are.

Contentment. I am so incredibly happy. Vanilla people don’t have what we have. Did I wish that I could have played with everyone who wanted to? Of course I do. But I couldn’t and neither will they be able to understand how little time I had. In some cases the opportunity has passed and may never happen again,  for others it will increase the likelihood that it will happen the next time.

What was most important was that some people who I hold in high regard showed me this weekend that they hold me with the same regard. They know who they are and I know who they are as well 🙂

I have a cold and I am emotionally drained. My hand is like it went through a meat grinder and I am so incredibly tired,  but just try and take this smile off my face!!

I’m not even going to review what I just wrote,  it is what it is and I know that I am happy with it,  and I had the best roommate I could hope for,  period.

Some Kind Of Wonderful

Next week I am off on a trip and I couldn’t be any more excited than I am right now.

During this week I had started to write the second part of my “Year of the Houndog”  post but to be honest with you,  due to the upcoming trip none of it is relevant right now. While I will be away for four days,  I only have three events planned. If that totals the sum of my interactions then I will leave the gathering a very happy man. ellee and I have been planning something for weeks as a continuation of our story,  but there are going to be differences this time around.

Call me old fashioned if you’d like,  but there are standards that I apply whenever I meet someone new. Each individual has their own barometer and for me that barometer is applied as to how I judge myself as a man. This is one of those deep philosophical areas for me,  something that I wouldn’t expect anyone for one minute to understand because it is so personal. It is a simple process. Like any man,  if I so wished I could apply any type of instrument with as much vigor as possible to the bottom of someone I am playing with,  but I don’t,  that isn’t what is important to me. What is important to me is that I build a relationship with the person first,  even if I risk the possibility that they would be disappointed with the level of initial spanking that I would give them. I can,  will and have applied some very serious spankings,  but the only recipients of those spankings are the people who are close to me and with whom I have a personal connection. Like I said,  this is something that is deeply ingrained in me. If I had a one on one interaction with someone and I had very little of a personal relationship with them,  and I used that interaction as a means to whale upon them based on what I have seen that they can take,  I’m being really honest here,  I wouldn’t view myself as much of a man if I did that for my own personal gratification.

There is a tendency for individuals to view this as a criticism of others and it isn’t meant to be. As I mentioned above,  we are all individuals and for me,  personally,  I have my own set of morals,  ethics and standards,  as I expect others,  even those who disagree with me,  have as well. I’m very happy with my own choices.

So let me cut to the chase. Up until now ellee and I have engaged in a couple of fun spankings and also a couple of good caning’s,  but that is about to change. Next week I have a serious matter to discuss with ellee,  she knows what it is and she also knows what it warrants. Now if anyone would care to comment regarding their own experiences I would love for you to do so,  as I am sure ellee would as well. Next week ellee is going to have the Cracker Barrel Paddle applied soundly,  and I do mean soundly,  to her bare bottom until it is the color of a ripe tomato. ellee has never been spanked with the CB paddle before so if anyone would like to tell her about it then please feel free to leave a comment below. We are talking a proper no nonsense spanking from start to finish and it will be anything but fun.

Being that I don’t like to hog women,  despite what Tony and Paddy have teasingly accused me of,  I am also hoping that on Sunday next week that the two of us can do a proper caning scene,  something that we would potentially film as well for spanking tube. That isn’t certain though as there are a whole party of people that the pair of us will be sharing our time with,  we will only do the caning if we find the time to do so. The spanking is set in stone though.

Before moving on,  ellee has sent me a picture of what she will be wearing next week. OMG!! She is the most adorable naughty schoolgirl on the planet.

There is something else going down next week as well,  and this time it revolves around ellee’s twin sister. You will know this girl as Alex Reynolds. A little while ago Alex playfully referred to me as a little bitch and earned herself a spanking. Unfortunately that didn’t satisfy young Alex as she continued,  and indeed continues as well,  to push the envelop of respect. This is a contradiction to what I said above as I have never played with Alex before,  but I guess in a way it isn’t a contradiction because when I meet up with Alex we won’t actually be  ‘playing’. Her behaviour at the moment is quite challenging and she has been poking me with a stick to see how I would react. A week from now Alex will see my reaction when I apply 12 hard strokes of the cane to her bare bottom. Before each stroke lands I am going to ask Alex to read the printed document that will be in front of her,  and to recite her sentence to me before the cane lands. I’m very serious about this and while I never make predictions,  I have a feeling that having to read her own words may well bring Alex to tears. I will keep you posted.

In addition to this,  just yesterday I received a note from Erica Scott suggesting that we take care of one of my new year’s resolutions. The resolution that Erica is referring to is my request that Erica and I engage in a proper spanking. Up until now we have done a couple of playful promo videos,  but we have never played. Now by playing I don’t mean a dom/sub type deal,  all I am talking about is a playful,  witty,  otk spanking,  but one that is done properly as opposed to some playful swats. It is something that I am very much looking forward to and have been for quite a while now.

So that is the sum of what I have planned for next week. The potential for more play may or may not happen,  but as you can see from what I have written above,  my weekend would be successful regardless if any more play happened or not. Just as important as anything it also bears mentioning that I cannot wait to sit at the bar with a few of my male spanking friends and chew the fat with them. It is an important area that is rarely spoken about,  but male bonding is a characteristic that helps me to understand others. Spending time with your fellow tops is a very important part of a spanking party.

Is that the some kind of wonderful that I am talking about? Actually it isn’t,  it is only a small fraction of it. My wonderful started at BBW last year.

There are many writings that I have saved but never posted that relate to this topic,  and I doubt if I ever will post them. From around 2003 until 2009 I lived my life in the spanking world as the most carefree individual you could ever meet. There was literally nothing that really bothered me other than the usual things that would apply to real life as well. It is the one area that was a really strong suit of mine in that I chased nobody. The people who wanted to play with me were the people who had my attention,  it never crossed my mind as to who didn’t play with me or questioning whether the grass was greener on the other side. I was content and satisfied and extraordinarily happy. Who wouldn’t be happy having the nicest people surrounding you?

It was around 2009 that things started to change for me. Now I don’t know if this has anything to do with it or not,  I really don’t,  but my Brother passed away in 2009 and I have a feeling that I became depressed because of that. It seemed to follow a downward spiral where I became blase and ambivalent about spanking parties. Things that never once concerned me became a nuisance and there were parties where I didn’t even have a good time or even perhaps didn’t want to be there. My behavior was pretty erratic as well where there would be times that I locked myself away for long periods in my room.

During BBW last year something happened that made me very angry. While I may not have felt it at the time,  it was an event that I needed to help get me back to where I once was. The Saturday night at the BBW party last year was where it all began. I packed up my Malaysian cane and walked into where the gathering of girls were and I caned as many as I could back to back and those who I didn’t cane I turned over my knee and spanked them. On that Saturday night I played with more girls that one evening than I had at several other parties combined,  it was non stop until the early hours.

Windsor was back. FMS followed and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Shadowlane came and while I had a couple of down days,  for the most part it was a very positive party. That one was a mixed bag only because of actions that happened. It may be a spanking party but I still have old fashioned morals,  including one part where someone deliberately insulted me and the 1981 Richard Windsor started to rise to the surface. This time I was actually proud of myself because I upped and left a room to find somewhere to enjoy myself. Why would I want to be in the company of someone who doesn’t want my company?

And finally came a Christmas party and a New year’s party. Both events I would normally rarely play at,  but not this year. This year I wanted to play and I wanted to play as much as I could,  and I didn’t disappoint myself. It was cathartic,  I was back to my old self and it was the greatest feeling in the world. I was excited,  happy and I started to communicate with people once again. The party that I am going to next weekend I am going to have to be honest with you,  I just can’t remember being this excited for a spanking party in such a long time. This is the same type of excitement that I feel when I join my own group of friends at the annual SSC event.

Like I said,  there are only three events that I have planned next week,  but they are all exciting ones. I’m sure other play will happen but if it doesn’t,  can you understand why I have so much anticipation of this being such a wonderful event. The old Richard is back and it is a great feeling,  this is going to be the best year ever,  I just know it. The way that I felt when I first started my journey is how I feel right now,  joyful,  excited and carefree.

My renewed excitement will continue tomorrow when I meet the SSNY crowd and we shoot some funny videos for this year’s BBW party.


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