Yesterday I was talking to Pixie and one of the topics that came up as we talked was my own belief that I spank harder now than I ever did before. Of course through the initial laughter she agreed with me that I do indeed play harder now.
Part of me wondered why this was, had I developed a mean streak?
The ever smart Kitty had a theory though, it is all down to the weight loss. After giving it some thought she is right, I now have much more energy, my body size is now of a smaller frame and while this may sound daft, when I have a girl over my lap now my body posture is such that I can apply the hand properly. No more finding the correct position, no more aching back as I stretch and sit awkwardly in order to deliver a spanking.
Can you see the difference in these two pics?
Now I guess my thoughts today were brought on by the fact that I am actually obsessed with the numbers. My goal is to get down to 190lbs by Shadowlane which is another 7lbs away. Now I pretty much have my diet down pat, but I do still see a dietician. What is interesting though is that I no longer see her really for ideas, suggestions or routines, though I will still pick up the odd point here and there. What I see her for now is motivation, it works for me that I have something tangible to work with.
It doesn’t work for me to just constantly say that I am always losing weight and doing well, I have to have a tangible number to work with. I think it is why I continue to mention that tangible number, because it provides me with the motivation to keep going. At this present time I am down 75lbs so I have reached a target, the next step is 80lbs. Small increments help me, my goal isn’t to get to a weight loss of 100lbs, not now at least, my next goal is 80lbs. Don’t get me wrong, I will get to the 100lb weight loss, but it isn’t my focus at the moment.
One thing that I didn’t think I would be able to change was my eating habits, but you know what, that was the easy part, it really was. Rarely do I ever cheat and if I do it is like once a month. In fact I am never in denial, it was last night that I cheated, and I added a slice of pizza to my usual salad.
You know what is funny? In part I can at least see a small resemblance to D/D, though the barometers are completely different. Motivation is certainly something I need and I get that in spades. Every party that I attend I am treated, and I really do mean treated, to the wonderful side of human nature. The times where people are able to see my tangible weight loss, and they congratulate me on my commitment. You have absolutely no idea how that makes me feel about myself, seriously. At the Crimson Moon party this past weekend virtually every single person I came in contact with made some type of comment, you could wish for no better motivation. I felt like a million dollars.
So can you understand why I talk about motivation? Imagine how I would feel if I told everyone I was losing weight but I had nothing tangible to show for it. People would laugh behind my back and remark how I was kidding myself, and I would rather they did that over my big ego and my UPT status.
Sometimes I run into the fear that I talk too much about losing weight and people will start to turn and react negatively towards it. It is a silly thought I know, but I do fear that I may encounter this especially when so many people struggle with losing weight. So perhaps I can share what my methods are.
To start with, I set a monthly goal for myself to lose 4lbs per month. I’m not always successful, though for the most part I have been. It was the important words that I heard when I started this journey “You didn’t put it on overnight, you’re not going to take it off overnight”
So being realistic, while I said that I would like to be down to 190lbs by Shadowlane, if I stick to my plan I will be happy with 194lbs, even 195. It isn’t a sprint it is a marathon. The important part to me is that I don’t go above my baseline in any given month. If I started the month at 210lbs and finished the month at 210lbs, I didn’t lose the battle. Now I would have had disappointment in myself that I didn’t lose weight, but it gives me the strength to work harder, get right back on the bike so to speak. In the 20 months that I have been dieting so far on only one occasion did I gain a couple of pounds during any given month. So think about it, I have dropped 75lbs in 20 months, if you take that one month into account where I gained a couple of pounds, I am pretty much on schedule with losing 4lbs a month for the entire time.
If I could give anyone advice it would be what I wrote about above, set your goals realistically and keep them small. If you are 160lbs and want to get to 140lbs, try it over a five month period. Remember, you aren’t just trying to lose weight, you are trying to change your lifestyle that ensures that you lose the weight and keep it off. So if you are 160lbs think of it this way, by the end of August your goal should be 156 or 157lbs. Losing 20lbs in a month isn’t going to make the changes in your lifestyle that you need to keep the weight off, that can only happen in small, gradual increments.
Anyone can say they are losing weight, but does that help the person emotionally? If you change what you do and include the most important aspect, regular exercise, what you can say is that you have adjusted your lifestyle and slowly but surely you are making improvements to your health. The side effect to that approach is that you will lose weight.
Give it a shot, between now and the end of August set your goal at a weight loss of 3lbs. If you see no loss in the first week then that means you will have to work harder for the last two and a half weeks. The goals should be small because believe me, when you reach them it is the best feeling in the world. Add them all up and you reach goals you never thought were possible. Think about it, since I started this journey I have lost over 25% of my body size. Pick up a 75lb weight and that will tell you how much less my body has to carry each day.
Finally, to anyone who has ever said anything nice to me about my weight loss, thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart. Every comment increases my positive outlook and makes me feel so wonderful about myself as a person. It is a really tremendous feeling and it gives me so much motivation that nobody could really comprehend, every single comment has contributed to my healthier lifestyle choices. I couldn’t lie to myself, I would be letting everyone down if I did that. When people tell me I look great I know they mean it, and it makes me feel really good inside, like I have accomplished something.
My ego loves all of the UPT talk, my head swells whenever I see someone using my image as their profile pic. Even the hateful stuff makes my ego that much stronger, there is no stopping it really, lol. That is a big part of Richard Windsor’s character and who he is. Richard L on the other hand is a very humble man who gets deeply touched by people taking the time to acknowledge his achievements. The way I see it is that if people feel it is important enough to say something nice to me, then that means I must be important to them if they wish me well.
On that note I think I will spend this evening writing nice things on people’s walls to make them feel good about themselves!!