I think the internet has corrupted me after all these years. Back in the day we only had our charm to try and lure the ladies, now all we do is use this cyber mechanism to seek our spanking partners.
Why am I posting this you may ask? Well, I have the usual cyber play going on, potential spankees who are playing hard to get, lol, and obviously some good opportunities with people not that far away. There is a big spanking meet coming up that I am excited about and a party soon close by that I simply have to go to. BUT, there is this intriguing little beauty who I see nearly every day on the bus who I just can’t bring myself to talk to!! Years ago I wouldn’t have hesitated in trying to use my English charm on her.
Let me set the scene for you. When I am late to work (which is nearly every day) I get on the bus and it happens to coincide with this young lady. I have seen her now for more than a year, I always checked her out as a pretty girl but didn’t pay that much mind. That changed fairly recently when I made eye contact with her and she mouthed ‘hi’. I just smiled and sat down and carried on about my day. Just a few weeks ago I boarded the bus with a Hungarian friend of mine and the only seats that were available were one next to her and one in front of her but sideways on. My friend and I talked away and of course I used this time to add the element of intrigue by mentioning that I act in amateur films. Of course I never said exactly what they were, but my ego was running rampant. So anyway, it then got to a habit where I would see this girl and we would smile at each other and say hello, and that was it.
Today that changed a little. She is always on the bus before me and my first chore is to look around to see if I see her. Today I didn’t see her, not until the last minute that is as I was about to sit. She had that look, you all know what look it is, the one that says I wish you would talk to me. There is obvious interest on her part, I’m not that stupid, but I still took my seat halfway up the bus. When it came time to get off I headed to the front of the bus and this young beauty forgave the nearest back door and I knew she was right behind me. Regardless I carried on, knowing that I had to get my coffee in the store. Guess what, she followed me in there and was still stood right behind me. Now tell me, why in the hell couldn’t I turn around and talk to her? She was breathing down my neck practically, yet I froze and could do nothing but look forward.
I swear the internet has stolen my social graces, it is obvious that she wants me to talk to her but I just can’t. Here is some of my reasoning for not doing this!! Firstly, I enjoy the little game we have, it is fun to board the bus in the morning knowing that she is waiting to make eye contact with me, knowing that soon enough I will find her pretty face amongst the crowd of people. I don’t want to lose that part. Secondly, what if I do talk to her and it doesn’t click? Will I still get that joy in the morning? Thirdly, and this is perhaps the worst of the lot and perhaps the real reason I don’t talk to her, what if we DO click?
Where is the problem you ask? Obviously I am a spanko, there is going to be zero chance that I am going to give that up, and how do you explain that to a vanilla that you have an interest in that you enjoy spanking naughty bottoms for a living? Sure, you won’t know until you make it known, but I wonder if it is worth it, do I then want to get on a bus every day knowing that someone thinks I am a pervert on there?
You don’t need to tell me how stupid I am being, I already know this. Do I sacrifice what I already enjoy and freak a girl out with my dark side? Even if I did talk to her, it would have to be known up front I am going to spank her at some point. You would think at 43 years of age and with the confidence only an egomaniac can possess that it would be easy for me to talk to a girl, so why do I freeze every time I get within feet of her? Do you know what I think? I think that I am afraid of blowing something that could be good because of my kink, my fear is that it would be devastating to me to see someone who I have a great interest in knowing, blow me off because of my choice in pleasure. My feeling is that I am happier keeping that a secret and enjoying the smile of a pretty girl each day. How long will it be before she loses interest though I wonder, or will my standoffishness actually add to the intrigue that I obviously have to her?
Finally, and I’m not sure how much this has to do with anything, this girl completely reminds me of a spanking partner who I had several years ago, and dare I say it was my favorite spanking partner to date. Am I confusing that girl from my past with my expectation of what this girl will be like? Do I see the smile of someone I once knew when this girl smiles at me?
Yeah, I’m a guy, I’m very open with my feelings which I know is an unusual quality for a guy, and right now I’m pretty damn confused. Here is where else my fears lie, I am a tremendously loyal person, when I am with someone it is with that person alone. This is what I have coming up in the near future. This month a well earned birthday spanking a friend of mine is long overdue. In April a friend of mine is coming from Florida to speak at a conference, and while my main purpose will be to aid her on her stay, she is also fully aware, and is expecting, several spankings over that weekend. In May I have a spanking party to go to, and in June a spanking conference. With all that ahead, how do I possibly attempt to start a relationship with someone who may well be vanilla? And even if she isn’t, will she be accepting of the plans I have ahead of me these next few months?
Whoever said being a spanker was easy?
Richard Windsor.
I have had opportunities in recent years to seriously date vanillas and spankos. I pass them up all too often. Why? Because I still want to play with my regular spanking partners–and meet new spankos, too. Sometimes I wonder if this is the best course of action. Will I end up a lonely and pathetic old hag, milling around my stuffy house, feeding the twenty cats I’ve adopted, and making dinners for one? Gawd, I hope not. Sometimes I feel like I’ve put my romantic life on hold just for the sake of spanking and the partners I have (or will have). Like you, when I date someone, I am with that person only. I’d still talk to or hang out with my spanking friends, but I don’t know that I’d be able to go to Shadow Lane and play around (even if I were with a spanko).
I still think, though, that you should give it a shot with this lady. Talk to her and get to know here. Maybe her spank-dar is turned on and goes haywire when she sees you. Maybe she’s not a vanilla…maybe she’s a naughty minx like the rest of us. Maybe is a whole lot better than nothing.
Ruby
To quote a charming little crustacean – Go on and kiss the girl.
My view is perhaps different than most, because I have a wonderful spanking relationship within my vanilla marriage.
The only reason it took as many years as it did to get it going is that I allowed fear to get in the way of telling him what I really wanted and needed.
I had a lot on the line when I told him, so it was scary – but it was the best thing I’ve ever done for both myself and our marriage.
Not every vanilla can be corrupted. But some certainly can.
She’s more fantasy than real right now. Until you talk to her, you won’t know whether or not you’re even interested enough to take the chance.
Carpe diem, faint heart never won fair maiden, etc.
🙂
You actually had social graces to steal??? hahahahahaha…………
I know, I know, not much help. 😉
Much love,
ginger
Thank you for your comments and opinions guys. Funny enough, after posting this last night I was determined to speak to her today, but alas we weren’t on the same bus 🙂 I will keep you updated.
Thanks for that Ginger, that made me smile 😉
Your situation is disturbingly familar.
You see, i’m a bit smitten by a pretty girl in my building. I’m a sucker for a beautiful smile and when this girl smiles, her whole face lights up and it just makes my day. Everytime we pass, we smile, exchange a nervous ‘hi’ and wander off with that akward tension of things not said. And now i hear she’s been asking around about me. So i think there’s some interest on her part.
But at this point, i’m practically avoiding her for the same reasons. If we do hit it off, how’s she going to react when i tell her i’m a bit of a pervert? I don’t know, but i’d be sad if we could no longer share the occasional smile. And even sadder if that smile was replaced by a look of disapproval.
Yeah, i too am afraid of my kink ruining something for me and afraid of how that would make me feel. I guess the best i can say is that you’re not the only one with these concerns (and i feel pretty stupid too). Maybe your post is the smack upside the head i need to say more than hi. I don’t have any English Charm – i hope the American equivilent is good enough.
Wish i could offer more, but please do keep us updated.