Hopefully what I am about to write translates well to my audience and people don’t get wiggy about it. You have probably read already that my interest in the active party scene has dwindled to an almost non existent state. Spanking still interests and excites me, but the truth of the matter is that real life events have had an affect on my mental state. A lot has happened over the last few years in which I have evolved a great deal. I’m not always saying that it is for the best, but I have evolved. In the last ten years I have lost both of my brothers at a very early age and also my mother during that time. This is on my mind because this week it will be a year since my last brother died, and my father also died 20 years ago this week as well.
The reason that I bring that up is because one can’t help but think about their own mortality as well. Now don’t get me wrong, I expect to be around for at least another couple of decades, but my focus for the time that I have left has changed to a point that all I am looking for in life is positiveness. I bear no ill will or malice towards anyone, in fact quite to the contrary, I wish nothing but joy and happiness to everyone. At the same time my last days of giving a fuck have also long since departed. There are goals that I still want to achieve, spanking scenes that I still want to do, and people that I still want to meet and become friends with. You don’t realize just how short our time is until someone important in your life is no longer there.
Despite what I have said above though, I am okay. There are still days where I get sad, and there are days when I feel incredibly lonely. I’m not saying lonely from a physical point of view, just lonely from the mental aspect where the most important people in my life are no longer there for me to reach out to in any form. It is also why I can’t look back though, and I have to plan ahead for what is to come. I can’t change any of the events that have happened, none of them, nor do I want to. There is still so much ahead and I’m looking forward to it.
Obviously you have seen my travel exploits so far over the last year, New York, London, Tokyo and Reykjavik, and there are probably even more to come in the next calendar year. I’m 56 years old now, why wallow in misery when there is so much excitement ahead, this is probably my last shot at doing it all so I am going to take full advantage of it. This year I have two trips planned where I am going to visit 4 countries, but as of yet I don’t know which countries are going to be paired with each other. More than likely it is going to be various cities in Japan combined with a trip to Taiwan, which will also include a few days in Busan, South Korea. The other trip will be to Hanoi, Vietnam with a stopover in Seoul on the way back. There are other countries in Asia that I would like to go to but if I’m honest my plus sized body won’t cope well in tropical climates.
This brings me onto the topic at hand though, Spring Cleaning. You know that one thing that I have thought of? If anything happens to me then I have nobody left to take care of my belongings, and as any spanko will be aware, that contains a ridiculous amount of spanking material. I’ve got a box of toys of which many have never even been used, spanking mags all over the place, and more DVD’s that you could shake a stick at.
When I first started blogging, virtually every spanking website out there would send me DVD’s to review online, I mean a stupid amount of DVD’s. Plus I have a collection of my own, but the toys, holy moly there is a pile of them.
What I am going to eventually do is give everything away. Some of the items I might be able to sell on eBay like the magazines shown below, but not until I have scanned them all first. Below is just a sample of the vintage ones in my collection.
The next photo which is in the magazine that is second to the right, is a photo that has been seen online before, but hopefully I will be able to add updated versions to the Internet. While I initially thought that a great many people have had this vision of the boyfriend getting spanked by his girlfriend’s mom for part three of MOTHER SPANKS DAUGHTER – THE BEST FRIEND, I also asked myself the question “Am I the only person in the spanking world who notices the rotary phone in the photo”? LOL.
As I am going through the spanking magazines it has also occurred to me that many of the photos in these magazines aren’t online yet. Like I said, what you see in the image is just a sampling of the collection that I have. I’m going to have to put a block of time away where I can start to scan everything for online preservation.
I would like to continue but the Champion’s League final is on soon. Maybe I will expand on this tomorrow, or perhaps for my Sunday classic I will scan some pictures for you!! At least you will have something to look forward to over the coming weeks. I wanted to write more but I have run out of time so I had to truncate this. Keep your eyes peeled though, I’m going to be giving a lot of stuff away this year.
Richard, It is with a somewhat heavy heart I read of your current state of mind concerning the “scene”! I read of Erica Scott’s similar loss of interest, and as a one-time active writer, and follower of the topic, I too have lost interest in the active part of the scene, meaning, sharing with real people. Relationships in this topic can be tricky. People that I would think are open minded and objective are often just the opposite. All I can say is that people will always disappoint us, as we are all people, but you have been blessed to have “played” with almost everyone that is anyone! I admire you!
I have vicariously lived a great deal of the “active scene” through you and your posts. I have always been amazed at how much time and work you put into our shared interest and how generous you are to share it!
I used to peruse libraries for old magazines and even looked up newspapers on microfiche! Yet, you have found so much more material and your book of finds is astounding.
I too have loads of old mags, 300+ books, video tapes, printed stories. I have five trunks of such material and at my age of 61, I too wonder what I will do with it all, or worse, what my poor wife will do with it all! If you come up with a good idea, please share it with me!
You have suffered a great deal of personal loss over the last few years. Losing a brother must be horrible, not to mention two. I don’t know if your friends have been there for you or not, but I hope they were and are!
Keep doing what you do so well! Take pleasure in knowing there are many of us out here in the lurker world that think so much of you and your contributions.
Be well!
Fatherjim,
It isn’t a fad either, the feeling has been with me for a couple of years now. Partially I think it has to do with burn out, a combination of excessive parties and people you were once close to moving on. The scene has changed a lot as well, and I’m not going to knock out, but the scene has evolved in directions that I don’t relate to in several different aspects.
You and I do share a love of searching libraries, the only difference now is that I am able to do them online. That is one part of my hobby that will never change, the constant search for unseen material.
My brother was very fortunate that he had me to clear his apartment for him. I collected his hard drives and his electronic devices, and once I came back to America I destroyed all but his main hard drive, and I am only keeping that for legal reasons should it be needed. His private life went to the grave with him where not even I saw it. One can only hope that someone will do the same for me 🙂
Of course the collector inside of me would love to get a look at your collection 🙂 Maybe that is what we should all have, a spanking buddy who inherits our collection when it is our turn to move on. 🙂
My brother’s friends have been a pillar of strength for me, since he died last year I have kept in constant contact with them and they have helped me out so much. Some of them are people who I knew before I left for America, and they have treated me like their brother for the last year.
Rich
Richard, I followed your twitter post & feel rewarded by the honest, heartfelt piece I enjoyed above & thought I should add a comment to as another “old hand” who has evolved, burned out or just aged beyond the active social scene I eagerly jumped into back in 1990 as a player & shortly after as a publisher of one of the small amateur newsletters & fanzines I found & fed off on in the 1980’s such as “The Bottom Line”, “The Domestic Discipline Digest”, “Good Old-Fashioned Spanking Stories”,Sassy Ladies”, & the original “Stand Corrected” which, as I’m sure you know, started out as a modest but marvelous bi-monthly from Eve & Tony before it went glossy & became another every year or so color magazine.
As I told Eve once a lifetime ago when we met at the “Pretty in Pink” weekend party some adventurous kindred spirits put together at a hotel in New Jersey, that decision drove me to do what I did to fill the void that was left with all of the previous little spanking publishers I mentioned before having gone under or burned out on the amount of work it took to put out pubs in light of the lack of support from the majority of lurkers that our kinky little community was comprised of then.
As the last of a dying breed with 29 years & over 231 fanzines in our library now, I can personally attest that sad reality hasn’t changed. However, my point is that everything else for us spankos & the world at large has changed & quite considerably due to the internet & easy availability of all of the “treasures” we old hands had to go far out of our way to seek out & find when we could via sleazy adult stores & the personal mail drops that were needed to get our meager mail order fixes or find kindred spirits to play with & fulfill all those wild & wicked desires we’ve all had & fantasized about countless times as we all needed to do in the foolishly forbidden solitude we were forced to endure once upon a time.
And the majority of us must or choose to still do in spite of the popularity of adult spanking entertainment on-line AND off since the best ever selling success of a naughty trilogy of books penned by a working English Mum & amateur writer with erotic desires to be spanked, bound, satisfied by a dominant stud.
It was called, Fifty Shades of Grey, as you know & I apologize for running on & away from my point again. But Richard inspired me & caught me in a chatty mood. I also thought pointing out that fantasies & desires are one thing, & the realities of finally spanking a woman who wears out your arm out & is begging for more 15 minutes later is quite another. It’s a fantasy killer, in fact, or so it was for me my first time out.
It was far from the last time I would encounter a smart assed masochist… Or SAM an old friend you might be familiar with as “Michelle” from the flicks she did with Nu-West & Pat from the two flicks she did for us back in our SHE Studios days. She & her husband Ernie were as wonderful & as active as can be in the SF Bay area BDSM underground for a good decade I’d guess. Then they weren’t. They continued to satisfy themselves in the privacy of their home alone & with friends over to which I can personally attest.
I was still active then & it was great fun for all. But Pat & Ernie had reached the point of evolution, burn out or age where social spanking became less desirable than their private play. And those good, old-fashioned fantasies that never failed to live up to & inflame whatever wicked desires they held to or unforgettable memories they might hold dear.
They DO get better with age, & the more you have to choose from is always better as I’m sure you’ll agree, Richard. You’ve been more active & for much longer than I was. However, like any delicacy, there’s only so many ways to serve it & so many times you can savor it before the flame for reality flickers out & the desire for the kind of good, old-fashioned spanking fantasies & fulfillment some of us once held dear reignites.
I’ve been a big fan of yours since I first found your site & a fan of mainstream spanking nostalgia since I came across & cut out my first news clipping. It was huge deal & the beginning of a modest but collection I hid, added to, & dug out when I could or referred to from the thousand & one times I’d seen & savored it before.
I’m 63 now & older than my years after spending 29 of them publishing fanzines & I’ve seen a& done a lot. But, I still get the best rush from the “real thing” I prefer to see in the kind of current & vintage mainstream treasures you’ve so tediously sought out & generously shared on your outstanding blog. I’ve had a link to it on my site forever but must & will make more it to our sadly shrinking older readership. They’re as nostalgic as we.
Finally, I’d like to express my sympathies for the losses you’ve suffered & we all have to in this harsh reality eventually. That said, I must end by expressing my congratulations for rising above tragedy & realizing that life is for the living & seizing the simple adventures & pleasures of it as you’ve done in your travels. I’ve enjoyed your travel photos on twitter & look forward to more of them, too.
Thanks for all of the effort you’ve put into your blog & all the treasures you so generously share. I’ve made sure to credit you for the assorted B-Day & old sorority snaps I searched upon & followed to your site that didn’t contain an imprint, & probably more among the similar selections displayed elsewhere without references or the credit you deserve, Richard.
Please DO keep them coming & best regards!
Chas, aka Michael at scarletthill.
PS: It seems I’ve also evolved into wanting to use my real name now that I’d aged past the need for anonymity.
Chas,
My reply to you is in this post 🙂 http://richardwindsor.com/streetcars/streetcar-sundays-108/
Richard,
Thanks for another great post & the kind words & generous plug contained therein. I wasn’t seeking self-promotion when I was responded to your Spring Cleaning post, but I appreciate it & sure can use it in light of the waning lack of interest in the kind of old-fashioned erotica l, you & all of the pre-net spankers I’ve spoken with over my years in the scene had to go to great lengths to get. If we could.
I’ll spare you my “drove 30 miles one way into Manhattan in the seedy old Times Square days” & other similarly unbelievable to some but true old how it was war stories. I’ll just say that there was hardly any decent entertainment for spankers looking for more than mags full of boringly posed photos & grainy CP flicks you had to dare a sleazy peep booth & put a quarter a minute into a box to gawk at as I had to do.
Like Richard, reality restricted my spanking conquests to the almost always blue jeans encased bottoms of girls of mating age & quick, playful punishment role-plays. So, seeing a cute set of bare girlish buns actually get spanked was a real eye-opener & as big & exciting a find as a good mag, book, or the kind of mainstream photo finds featured on this fantastic blog.
The reality of those photos made them special then & still to me. I get more of a charge out of an amateur pic than I do from the majority of flick pics I see & for the same basic reason, I believe, which is because of how rare they were then & remain to this day decades later & after 30+ years of coming out of the closet & fulfilling just about every dream, fantasy & desire I once had on a personal, if not, professional level.
I gave up on my silly dreams of being a kinky Hugh Hefner surrounded by pink bottomed spank bunnies long ago despite a resoundingly successful start for the first little newsletter I created using the new desktop publishing software that became available to do the layouts & the good, old copy machine in my office to make as many copies as I needed to satisfy the demands of those spankers I could find through ads in Penthouse Variations & every other kinky as source I could tap into.
No ad I ran was as successful as I hoped it would be due the small size of the market I was shooting for & the fact that I made what was a groundbreaking decision in those sexist days to include material catering to all the sadly neglected FM fans I knew were out there along with the usual & more acceptable MF & FF fare. The Ledagram from NuWest was the only thing around for FM spanking tastes & it was more of a promotional pamphlet featuring photos from Leda flicks for sale at the amazing price of $99 each if memory serves me than an actual publication.
Well, my decision to be an open to all but MM forum turned out to be good & bad. FemDom fans rejoiced & sales were great. However, the less enlightened & fair members of our community who are all for what they’re into & all against anything they’re not were not pleased or willing to purchase my first pub simply because it contained what they considered objectionable material.
As you rightly stated, Richard, we all have & are entitled to our own needs & desires, regardless of the opinions of the us against them with no compromises, common sense, or conscience that has clearly come to be the sad status quo these messed up, mixed up modern days. But it existed back in simpler, better, saner & more innocent good old days all of the boomers I know miss more than ever as I readily admit I do & felt Richard was as well when I read Spring Cleaning.
He spoke of achieving the dreams & fantasies that fed & fueled his desires for more than entertainment alone & losing his taste for all the parties & personal play he went out & got himself. He also spoke of spending much time thinking about his mortality as is natural when the golden years of life are reached & being more committed to traveling the world for personal pleasure & fulfillment beyond the many spanking adventures he enjoyed & eventually had his fill of.
Being in the same place in life as Richard prompted me to post what is truly my first long-winded comment or rant anywhere on-line. I prefer to lurk in the shadows & limit myself to brief comments when I do posts. However, it seems Richard struck a nerve that has grown more raw with the passage of time & to the point where I & my partner & better half, Barb, are beginning to seriously consider shutting down our humbly historic little labor of love after we reach the 30 year mark next January.
It just isn’t as much fun or as fulfilling as it once was in light of struggles we’ve had to endure from all the competition out there these days & the bs we’ve been forced to swallow & bribes we’ve had to pay for being classified as the “high risk adult biz” we’ve never been since we began & started accepting cc payments from the 2 biggest credit providers around, Visa & Mastercard.
They & the greedy bastards behind them weren’t satisfied with the inflated percentage of every purchase we had to pay, so they decided to tack on an additional annual fee of $500 each for doing nothing more than taking advantage of the opportunity they paid off our currently corrupt US government was eager to sell them for a piece of the unsurpassed profits banks, insurance companies, big pharm, etc. have been making since they pushed the USA into the credit driven & debt riddled economy it has sadly been allowed to become.
Sorry, but the time to have to pay the 2 $500 bribes & beg for donations to help us do it has come again & I couldn’t resist ranting & raving about the unfairness of the system only American adult businesses have to face. European countries won’t allow MC & Visa to be the greedy profiteers they & too many other big corporations are allowed to be here to achieve the record profits they regularly do these greed is not just good as Michael Douglas’ character Gordon Gekko correctly claimed in the 1987 movie, Wall Street, but God itself.
I feel lucky to have been born during the baby boom & into the best slice of history the USA has ever experienced. Our country was rich & suburbs like the one my parents moved my siblings & I to from Queens NY in the mid 1950’s were born. The anti-spanking movement was in its infancy then & the taboo against any kind of playful, romantic & consensual adult spanking was yet to come.
I won’t presume to put words in Richard’s mouth or anyone else’s, but I’ll take advantage of my right to express my own opinion in closing that it’s natural for older, experienced hands like us to miss what will never be again & grow more interested in nostalgia & our own mortality or that of the dream I had for Scarlett Hill that never did come to pass as I’m pleased & proud to say almost all of the other personal desires of mine have.
I’m starting to ramble, so I’ll stop & close by urging anyone reading this who isn’t an experienced old blowhard yet to go for the gusto of life & get as much out of it as you can when it comes to spanking & everything other thing that can enrich it. I also must urge anyone who likes the idea of keeping the old days alive to support Barb, me & the dwindling number of old hands who crave the kind of old-fashioned entertainment we specialize in to pick up all the fanzines they want & deserve or to make any donation they can afford now via the link provided at scarletthill.com.
Any support will be as gratefully accepted as any more great pieces or discoveries Richard comes up with in future. Thanks again & in advance for those & all the effort you’ve put into your blog in the past &, I hope, for a long time to come between your travels!
Best regards & wishes to all! – Chas/aka Michael
Dear Richard,
So sorry my response was so slow, but went on a vacation and just got back and I went low tech, no cell phone, no tablet.
I would love to share all my collection with you at anytime. If you are ever near Cleveland, Ohio, just let me know. I’ll find some way to make it happen! It may take me a day or two to put it all in one place, but you’d see most of it! Nothing so special as your finds, but a great many mags and books that you may enjoy! I have binders (@20) of pics and anecdotes that I added to make them more real. Binders of spanking stories that I have gleaned from the net over the years as well!
Just email me if the occasion arises! Thanks!
Chas,
We will do something in the future that I hope benefits you. Just let me know the next time that you have a sale and I will use that as a means to hopefully drum up some support for you with a post.
Jim,
If I’m ever in Cleveland then I look forward to it 🙂