The FMS party is over and I have been recharged. The second part of the weekend story will be coming soon but before I write that I want to cover a few things about being focused.
Emotionally, this weekend was really good for me, it allowed me to get in to the right head space that I needed, to evaluate what is important to me. Despite only playing a handful of times, I was able to take some peace away from the party with me.
The first focus that I have is to pick up where I left off in my healthy eating program. In September of last year we had an overhaul at work which required me to make some changes. One of those changes had to be giving up my appointments with my dietitian. Now that wasn’t that big of a deal really, she had already taught me what I should be doing and my healthy eating has been going on for two and a half years now. What did suffer though was that I cut back on my exercising, the longer hours at work and the tiredness upon return home for a few hours each night really waned my interest in full exercise.
Now each night I do take a 3 mile walk home so it isn’t like I am being a couch potato, but the extra effort of an exercise program in order to reach the personal goals that I set for myself did indeed take a back step.
So what are the hard and fast results you may wish to know? Until September of last year I had dropped a total of 77lbs, since September I have put 8lbs back on, so from my original starting point I am down 69lbs. Honestly, I am really happy with the results of that. Yes, I did in fact put 8lbs on, but from where I once was clearly my new healthy living lifestyle has paid off. There was no spike in weight gain, I maintained my eating choices and if I had continued to exercise at the rate that I had before the changes, well, I would have continued to lose weight.
Now before I go further, the choices and lifestyle that I am about to talk about are mine. This isn’t a reflection on anyone else, their methods, goals, decisions etc. The bottom line is, I want everyone to get themselves healthy, however they achieve it. I mean that seriously as well, I will support anyone’s choices to live a healthier lifestyle. Changing ones lifestyle is something important and I don’t take it lightly.
When I started I had my own personal goal of losing 100lbs, though the number itself really is just a figure. You have to remember, I lost my Brother at the age of 41 to obesity, so my motivation remains high. Why do I choose a number of 100lbs though? Let me explain.
When I started living a healthier lifestyle, I didn’t even think it would be possible to lose 100lbs, but I set it as a goal to provide me with motivation, something tangible to keep working towards. Perhaps I am more goals orientated than I ever knew because as the new lifestyle kicked in, I found that I was setting goals all the time. If I weighed 250lbs, my new goal would be 245lbs, there wasn’t a timeframe for it, just something to strive towards. My eating habits improved to a point that I wouldn’t really gain weight, I just wouldn’t lose any if my exercising took a nose dive for whatever reason. It was really hard work, I’m not going to lie, and it is something that you really need to commit yourself to both physically and mentally.
This is what it means to me. It is all about mental strength and discipline, a commitment to actually do something, stick to it and see the results at the end. In our lifestyle I think that there are a lot of people who can understand what I mean by that and why I do it. It is something that is deeply personal to me and has mentally made me a stronger person. The number itself may not be of that great an importance to me really, if I hit 92lbs then so be it, but I have a goal in mind and that is what motivates me. For me it isn’t just the healthy lifestyle, it was also unhealthy to be the size that I was and I had to change that as well. They pretty much go hand in hand anyway, but in order for me to lose the extra pounds I have to work harder.
At every place that I go to people are always seeking advice from me, and of course I am happy to give what I have picked up. It isn’t a game, it isn’t a game of one-upmanship, and I want everyone to live a healthier lifestyle no matter how they go about that. The goals that I write about here are about me, they are what I have set for myself. For others it might be going for a walk or eating one less potato, whatever it is, I genuinely wish everyone the best in that. Maybe later in the week I will share my shopping list and my food intake with you, perhaps it may give someone a boost and some ideas to incorporate into their own menus.
At the end of the day I have my mojo back, my focus is where I want it to be and I am ready for the final challenge to push me towards my goal. The feedback that I have received from my success has been inspiring, several of my male friends in my vanilla life watched what I did and a couple of them have actually lost more than I have now. Like I said, at every party as well people are always approaching me. I see that I have one goal in that area, because it was something that was given to me by my dietitian, support and encouragement. If you are thinking of doing something, do what was said to me, start small. Set a goal of 3 pounds and then set a new goal. The other thing is exercise, you put fuel in the body but you need to burn it, if you stick to a daily program it will be small, but results will come, trust me. I lost 77lbs in 2 years, so think about it, that works out to only about 3/4 of a pound a week from a lot of hard work. The weight doesn’t fly off, you have to set a long term goal to change your lifestyle and work hard at it.
That’s it for the diet for now, but I am so motivated right now. The other part of my focus really revolved around this past weekend. For whatever reason, this weekend worked for me. I only played a handful of times in four days, yet I left the party feeling so good about myself as a person.
A few months ago I pondered whether or not the spanking group that I have on Fetlife had run its course. The group was very popular, a lot of really good topics were discussed, but I got to a point that I had little more to say. Once it got to the point that the bickering started, the cowardly fake profile that was created to besmirch me, and the lack of meaningful topics, I felt that we had started to jump the shark. I’m not even saying it is a bad thing, I would much rather have had a meaningful group for a year than not have one at all. As the months went on though, and things started to happen, my interest started to wane.
Coming back from Florida I was recharged, so much so that I forced three new topics for the group. It took less than a few minutes before I got a reply on one, a topic about my surveys. Unfortunately though, the response was an attempt to embarrass me. I just didn’t get it, I really didn’t. There was one time that I spoke to the individual in person, he seemed like a nice enough guy, and then out of the blue that. There didn’t seem any rhyme or reason to it, just spitefulness, and who knows why, perhaps it is the company I keep or they know someone that I am no longer close to?
I gave it a college try to get some spark back, but the spark was doused in minutes, that isn’t what I am about. At one point at the FMS party I saw Aurora on the couch in the wee hours of the morning and I walked over to sit next to her, she lifted her legs and then dropped her thigh onto mine. A few minutes later her leg went over mine and soon after that both her legs were between mine and she tucked her feet under my other thigh. Within minutes she dropped her head on my chest and dozed off, that is what it is about to me.
This past party I learned a lot about myself, I’m really in a euphoric state right now. Sitting there on Sunday night playing some light hearted games, have a little bit of spanking fun and snuggling up to those close to me, it just made me wonder what the point is of all the squabbling. My focus on Fetlife is changing, I like going there to play with my friends, the other stuff has got tiresome over time, so much so that it no longer interests me at all. That is why I deleted the thread, I’m not going to get into a tit for tat over something so trivial. There are things that are important to me but that most certainly isn’t one, there is a decent chance that I have started my last thread on that group. It was a great place to go for a year, but I think it is time for something new. The group will remain open of course but the topics have been exhausted in my mind.
This weekend I learned what was important to me, and more importantly, what isn’t.
First of all, the pet peeve thread alone will run forever. I always have something to bitch about. 😉 I’ve noticed a lot of online activity in general seem to lessen in the past few months. Maybe something is in the air.
Second, thanks for sharing a bit about your lifestyle changes and subsequent weight loss. I know your aim isn’t to brag or advise that your way is THE way with how you’ve stated your thoughts. But it really is encouraging to hear real experiences from regular people like yourself who have had success at it. It’s something that so many struggle with, myself included.
Those little vanilla moments at parties with just enjoying one’s friends really do outshine a lot of the play. It’s one of the things I’ve loved since finding the spanko community.
First, I wanted to say something to you personally. Thank you. This past weekend I went to a party where I knew almost nobody and you went out of your way the first evening to introduce me to several people. Not everyone would have been willing to do that for someone they had known for less than 30 minutes and for that you have my appreciation. Please do not let the actions of a few people bring you down. Yes, there will always be people who try to hurt you, your reputation, and those you care about. Don’t let them, be better than that, and if this past weekend was any indication you are. Don’t let a group die just because it isn’t easy. Remember, this community is growing. Everyday someone googles spanking, or joins Fetlife, or talks to a friend and discovers they aren’t the only person in the world who is obsessed with spanking. I’m not saying you should carry the weight alone, but it’s nice to have a group where people can discuss things related to the spanko world with a group of decent people.
As to the weight loss, amazing job, just amazing. I would be extremely interested in hearing what your diet looks like and how you stay motivated to eat that way.
Izon
1. Weight loss is tricky; no pun intended, but it has its ups and downs, according to what’s going on in one’s life. I think what you’ve done is fabulous and I have no doubt you’ll continue on your path.
2. I do miss the lively days of your FetLife group. Not sure what is going on, but I’ve kinda burned out on FetLife lately as well. It’s fun before and after a party, and I like seeing my friends there, the photo comments, etc. The community is great. However, the forums have grown stale; it’s the same topics over and over and OVER, and then you get all the stupid crap like Spank or Pass, or Ban the Person Ahead of You. Meh. Or, people posting topics like “Spanking — I love it, don’t you?” Yawn.
Maybe the days of forums being popular are over? I have no idea. But I hope our group won’t completely dwindle away, Rich. It’s still one of the best there. 🙂 Please don’t let haters get you down. They may loom large, but they are actually pathetically small next to the group of people who like you and enjoy what you have to say.
Izon/Erica,
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not down. I just spent an amazing weekend with a great group of people and I am delighted, in fact it just makes the trivial stuff seem that much more less important.
The group itself will stay and who knows, maybe I will make a post every now and then, but the days of trying to force something are over. It had a great run and will probably continue to do so, but I would rather talk about something important when it comes along than trying to think of something. The old adage of less is more I think applies here.