You may have noticed over the last week that I have been pretty much absent from online activity. This is something that happens to me from time to time, I have to shut down from online activity to recharge the batteries and spend some time concentrating on other aspects of my life. It isn’t a total shutdown of course, I mean I work on computers so there is rarely a time during the day when I’m not connected to one, but the spanking aspect took a backseat. There is a Google reader that I use to catch up on my favorite blogs which I check every other day, but even that I just skimmed through the posts.

Anyway, I should be back this weekend. My NEW SPANKING PICS site is well underway, it isn’t anywhere near finished yet but I have merged both the spanking pics site and the panty spanking site. Basically I will be shutting down the two blogger sites and I will be using the new one for spanking pics. Four spanking blogs is way too much for me to manage at this point so I will reduce it by one by combining the two sites together. My belief is that it will be for the better anyway to have all of my sites tied to my own domain. This weekend when I am watching the soccer from the UK I will be building the new site.

Anyone who was on Fetlife recently would have witnessed the attack that I encountered from a sock puppet, a situation that has since been handled by Fetlife. They were really good about it as well, giving me the information that I requested in regards to the puppet. Now the whole purpose of this puppet attack was to try and slander and discredit me as a person, but what I did find interesting was that the methods they used was something that I would imagine everyone who writes online would suffer from time to time.

Let me start by saying that I have nothing to fear, there was a reason that I ignored the puppet. Despite the innuendos they were using I am very comfortable in who I am and the way that I present myself. Often times I have used the line “You can only control the way that you act, you cannot control how someone else acts”. One thing that the puppet was doing though was scouring my posts with a fine toothcomb and culling together out of context statements that I have made over time. Now I could write about how sad it must be to devote so much time to someone who you don’t like, but I would rather focus on the evolution of spank. Haters are going to hate and if they are so obsessed with me then they will be reading this anyway. There is a very good reason why I have made the decisions that I have made, and the puppet just confirmed to me that I made the right decisions.

One of the many attacks that the puppet made though was to do with a statement on my Fetlife profile. This is what the statement said

“As I have evolved in the spanking world there is one thing that has changed about me. I have just begun to explore the discipline side of our lifestyle. Now this is an area that is fairly new to me, however, it is an area that I think that I can assist certain people with. The aspect of redemption and catharsis is something that I am beginning to appreciate, as is the need for forgiveness. Now I am still in the early stages of this, but I have now provided a few discipline spankings and I found them to be very beneficial to all concerned.”

One of the topics that I started in my popular spanking group “The Spanking World – Good Versus Bad” was in regards to my lack of understanding to discipline and punishment. That gave the puppet an opportunity to discredit me by quoting my profile and posting to a different group (a group with 21,000 members :)) that I was a hypocrite and a dangerous person. Again, perhaps someone with something to fear would get their man panties in a bunch, but for me I just found it amusing. Some of you may wonder, a group with 21,000 members and you aren’t afraid of what they may think? No, I’m not!! Most people are aware of who Richard Windsor is, for better or worse as well, and this site alone far exceeds 40,000 visitors a month and I am the one telling you about it here.

This is the way that I saw it. The attacks were clearly personal in nature, and anyone who couldn’t see that well, quite frankly, I probably wouldn’t be too worried about what someone who may have believed anything that was written would think about me. Actually, to be really truthful, I made more friends from these attacks than I did enemies. People who I barely knew were contacting me in shock at the level that someone would stoop to discredit me as a person. In fact it would be fair to say that the attacks only enhanced my reputation by the way that I handled it, and just as importantly has earned me future play dates with people I had barely had contact with prior to the attacks.

So going back to the contradiction with what I wrote, this is something that anyone can encounter as they evolve in the spanking world. This dates back to when I first started writing online and how I have evolved as a person. The direct quote on my profile was true, discipline was something that I tried, and perhaps will try again in the future. When I wrote it I was dealing with a new relationship and one aspect of that relationship was my exploration of something discipline based. In the fourteen years that I have been writing online I could perhaps point to a hundred different contradictions that I may have written and what I may write now, it is all about evolving as a person. When you have something new and exciting in your life you tend to focus on that, your writings reflect that, they reflect the communication you are having with a particular person, and you are engaging with that person albeit on a global level. In fact I could probably think of one straight away, somewhere along the line I have written about how I don’t understand ageplay, however, I have also now tried it and what I may write now I am sure will be a contradiction to something that I may have written before. Like I said, if you have the time on your hands and you have nothing better to do, you can probably find a hundred examples of me writing in contradiction to myself, that is of course if you choose to ignore a person evolving as a human being in the scene.

You know it’s funny, when I started writing this morning I had no intention of it going the way that it has so far, lol. I guess my thoughts though are that I don’t regret what I have written over the years, it is all true based on what I was dealing with at any stage of my growth in the spanking world, whether it be a story based on a person who I was interacting with at the time, or a shift of opinion as I have grown and matured as a person. One thing that I can say though is that I am proud of who I am and the reputation that I have earned. Being known as a nice guy is important to me and knowing that people see me as trustworthy gives me a good feeling deep down. My feeling is that self worth is important, if you feel good about who you are as a person then you will only attract good people with that approach. Think about it, if you saw someone being attacked and then noticed that the way that person handled it was with dignity, wouldn’t that draw you to that person? I know it would draw me to them.

I would love to be able to say that I have no regrets in the spanking world, and perhaps to some degree that is true in fact, because even things that don’t go exactly as planned help to mold you as a person providing you allow yourself to learn from it. How can you regret something when a mistake that you have made has made you a better person? At spanking parties I haven’t always presented myself exactly as I have wanted. In my social life a few years ago I was pretty reckless, I enjoyed enjoying myself 🙂 That didn’t always translate well to spanking parties, there have been many times that I have drunk a little too much alcohol, like many people I might add. Now in certain situations some of these times have absolutely been the best experiences and I wouldn’t change them at all. If I think back to the story of giving a lady her first ever spanking at a Shadowlane party, that scene had followed an all night party in my room that is perhaps one of my favorite memories from a spanking party. A visit to my room so that a few of us could have a smoke turned into an impromptu party with half a dozen of us that ended up being one of my favorite nights at a spanking party so far. Talking to Ian the London Tanner on the phone at 3 in the morning, having people pop in and out of the room, but mostly, six of us just sat around laughing our asses off with the play resulting in no more than 2% of the entire party.

Can you understand why I quit going out drinking and decided to get healthy? It is a no brainer if you ask me 😉

Now with all that I have said above, did I ever regret something that I have written? I am sure that if I searched everything that I have ever written I would no doubt come across things that I feel differently about now. The only thing that really springs to my was a discussion that was started in my spanking world group about “Are spanko’s Homophobe’s?”. Not let me state that I don’t regret my opinions, what I regret is that I didn’t present myself as well as I had intended to. It was one of those situations where my words and thoughts didn’t translate as well as I had intended. It is about responsibility though, and I accept that what I wrote was how people perceived it, so I accept it.

What bothered me though is that the perception of me in regards to homosexuality is far different to who I am as a person. There is nobody to blame other than myself for that though, it was my words that caused that. It was so bad that someone even said that based on my opinion, they thought less of me as a person, and that was said publicly as well. OUCH!!

So like I said, I don’t regret my thoughts and opinions, I only regret that the way that I presented it was far different to what I actually had meant, and by the time I tried to correct it I only managed to make it worse 🙂 Let me just state for the record though, I fully support the gay community and I advocate for their rights.

Okay, that’s enough of me being a blowhard for one day, I now have work to do on the new site 🙂