This story is now a part of my first book. It can still be read for free on Kindle Unlimited if you use that service. The story was rewritten, edited correctly and expanded by 3,500 words.
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Hi, nice story,so good I forgot to count the words!
What a lot of people forget is that quality is not just about what is there but what isn’t there too.
You seem to be aware of this so the result is a nice, innocent story which I enjoyed very much.
Thanks.
Colin
Richard, A superb story. It reads well, flows evenly and rings true. It is a shame more people cannot deal with each other in such a mature straightforward manner. I like the premise. I’m certain more young women have crushes on their BFF”s father than would like to admit it and what better way to set it off than a traditional Birthday spanking!
As to your question in the previous post, yes some of my stories are published by CF Publications under the name of B-Good., but they were my first and not well written in my humble opinion. I wrote many stories for the now defunct strip-search yahoo groups and some for the google role reversal site. Most of my stories are long gone as I never kept copies of my work. Stories and songs that I write as gifts are always one-offs, and I lose them in the giving!
I found that most stories generated little response, so even one negative remark really cut to the quick, even or Moreso if what was said was obviously spot-on! So, my enthusiasm waned back and forth. The google role-reversal group, however, provided so many positive and wonderful friends. That’s what I call anyone who reads and appreciates my work!
Years ago, in my writing, I ran into a retired college professor by the name of C. Lakewood, who offered to edit my work and I really struggled with his changes, like taking away the hairbrush and replacing it with a leather slipper. It drove me crazy, but he was most probably right in his changes. You see I still can’t quite agree. Stubbornness is my strong suite and my weakness! However, one very critical response from one story I wrote without his efforts really hit me. He asked me why anyone should care about my heroine getting spanked. I provided nothing to know her as a real character to love, to admire, to ridicule or to embarrass. I read my story again, and guess what, he was totally right. I still struggle with character development and my subjects are still very two dimensional at best and one dimensional most often.
I am knocked out by writers who actually make me cry, in sorrow, in joy, in compassion. That kind of writing entails real commitment and I fear my writing style is just too lazy for that kind of response. Nevertheless, I write on, hoping one day to write the ultimate fatherjim spanking story! I wrote a fan-fic for the American TV show, GUNSMOKE. If you know the show and would like to read it, I’ll send you a copy!
As always, thanks for all your sharing!
Colin,
This was a combination of an older story with some new writing. I consider myself to be a much better writer nowadays, hence why chapter 3 is so darn long, lol, that was mostly written over the weekend. Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment, I appreciate it.
Rich
fatherjim,
I will keep my eye out for some of your old work, I know that CF publications still put compilation books up on Amazon. Back in the day I never really bought much from them. Stories are something that I have been writing for twenty plus years now, so I am fully aware that you get next to no feedback at all. Even critical comments would be welcome, lol. Just this past week I had some guy leave a negative comment as his first comment on the blog, and a big part of me did ask myself “How long has he been enjoying my work, but his first comment is negative”?
As for someone editing my work, oh goodness no, I couldn’t accept that 🙂 I would rather live and die by the sword than have someone rewrite my work.
Character development is of course important and for this particular story it is a bit of a mixed bag. The first part of the story I wrote years ago when I perhaps didn’t write as well as I do now, so the character development isn’t as strong as I believe that I can write nowadays. With that said though, as soon as I finished this story then I started on a new story, so that one will have plenty of character development.
For the new story I am stepping out of my comfort zone as well just to come up with a different type of story. The principal characters are a 32 year old American teacher who is going to start up her own boarding school, and a 71 year old former Boarding School Headmistress from England. The former wants to use the latter as a sort of mentor, but the English Headmistress comes from a different time where corporal punishment was still used.
I’m having fun at the moment with the 71 year old and some of her old fashioned sayings. It is probably going to take me a while to write, however, if this story for instance got a lot of comments I would probably have the enthusiasm to write sooner. The likelihood though is that I can’t be arsed so I will take my sweet time over it, lol.
It is a lot of fun to give myself a challenge though, I just have to come up with a reason as to why the 71 year old former headmistress still has her old slipper with her.
Rich
This new story seems quite interesting, and I will wait patiently for its’ completion. I know you can’t rush genius or inspiration, but your premise is great and should lead to some very interesting dynamics between the two! The best!
BTW, one of my best fans compiled a lot of my old stories if you’d like to read them, I can forward them as well or send them on a disc!
Yeah I haven’t been forcing it. If I am in the mood to write then I do so, but I really like the premise. I just have to ease up on the older lady’s sayings. If your stories are all role reversal then I have to be honest, fatherjim, that isn’t a genre that I am able to get into.
Rich
I totally understand, and I’d never want to twist your arm, but if you look up the google role reversal group and in the search bar type fatherjim all my posts will come up and most have stories. You’d be surprised what I call a role reversal story. Afterall, your latest offering is a twist on that theme, a grown woman visits her friend and the older man uses a childish birthday tradition to spank the woman, leading to her going to get something more traditional, a real spanking from an older man, her a grown woman, acting as a naughty child! It’s all semantics.
AND, if you thought my comments on character development were in any way about your story, it was NOT! I was referring to a story I wrote that had potential for sequels. A spanking story is like a spanking pic. They are all good, even if they are not unique and even better when they are. You have a naughty or nice woman, a presented bottom, and a spanking. That’s all that is needed in a pic to enjoy it, and such is spanking stories. That was why the introduction of a sexual assault affected you so strongly in that story you read. It doesn’t fit. Spankos are not FIENDS, but friends! There never should be a true assault in any fashion in a good spanking story besides the assault to the senses and sensibilities of the one being spanked!
Anyways, once again, looking forward to your next written offering!
fatherjim,
Then maybe I am mistaken, perhaps what my idea of role reversal is and what your idea is are completely different!! I was assuming that you meant lashings of stories of 18 year old men spanking 80 year old women who they are related to. If someone has that fantasy then I would never kink shame anyone, but personally I would never even contemplate reading a story like that. If your vision of role reversal is what in the modern day they call age play, then perhaps some of those may indeed be interesting to read.
In regards to my story, I am really thick skinned my friend, I can take constructive feedback 😉 My older stories I know for a fact have minimal character development, I didn’t become used to that aspect until much later in my writing skill set. I’m very much like you with spanking pics, in fact even more so at times. Just a simple image can be the basis of an entire story, and in fact to a small degree my Mother Spanks Daughter series could even be traced back to a spanking image. I’m very much into something that ‘Could be’ realistic with a little imagination as seen through a spanker’s eye. There was another story recently that had an incredible setup, but when it got to the spanking it went way over the deep end, lol. However, I do give credit for the build up, it was a great premise for a spanking scene, but it just so happened to go a little too far.
Rich
I enjoyed your writing! The character wanting something but not wanting to want something–it feels natural. I also appreciate the story didn’t go overboard into uncomfortable territory. I know some people like going way over the line, but that really takes me out of the story. I browse your website several times a year and appreciate that you share so much of your time and material. Thank you for what you do!
H,
Thanks you so much for your kind words, I really do appreciate the feedback. Stories like this can sometimes take hours to write so it always means something when someone takes the time out to acknowledge your efforts. Thanks a lot!!
Rich
I have always enjoyed your stories especially male spanking female.this story was really enjoyed immensely because it did show fantasy,reality and imagination.I always enjoy stories where she wants to get spanked and does manage to get one.I am glad he did see finally that she did want a real spanking. The descriptions of going over the knee and having her bottom prepared was quite outstanding.very well done. You are a true spanking author.Thanks again for you share and have created.have a great day.
Once again you have proven to be the master of birthday spanking stories
Jim,
Thanks very much. This was a really old story as I mentioned, but I was able to add to the end of it and create something new out of it. There are many stories that I have on an external drive that I never finished that I might be able to use one day. Even if it is starting over from scratch, at least the idea for the story is still there.
Rich
Slick,
Thank you very much!! I realize that I have followed my usual standard fare, but this was an old story that was sat buried in my archive. At the very least I tried to make the ending new and fresh from what I normally write.
Rich
By all means, don’t apologize for following your usual standard faire. You do it better than anybody does and I look forward to reading more in this category. Your birthday spanking stories are my favorite spanking stories to read online.
And I’m still looking hoping for a sequel to Jane’s birthday spanking.
Slick,
Thank you again for your kind words. I will look back at the Jane’s birthday spanking story and see what I can do, it has been many years since I wrote that story. I’m sure that I could take it in a direction by maybe including an F/F spanking or perhaps introducing a friend of Jane for a double spanking. Let me know if you have any ideas to throw in that you think would help the story along.
Rich
Maybe it’s janes birthday again a few years later and her and another female camp councilor are at dinner with her uncle and his wife and they reminisce about the last birthday spanking in embarrassing detail with Jane flirtily reminiscing as well. Then the conversation could turn to the last birthday spanking before that which for whatever reason is extremely embarrassing to Jane . Of course this line of conversation would lead to him saying she’s way over due for another which happens in front of janes friend. I’m sure you could figure out how her friend ends up over uncles knee as well.
As long as the feels of that characters are the same, anything you came up with would be stellar
Slick,
Okay, I will see what I can come up with. There are a couple of thoughts that I have and I will certainly take your suggestions into account. The whole premise of that story is playful in nature, so it would be difficult to extend beyond that dynamic.
Rich
Late to the game, but just wanted to say I thoroughly enjoyed the story.
Bogey,
Thanks very much. My apologies for the late response, I took a break from the blog for a couple of weeks.
Rich