On A Nostalgia Trip

Yesterday I had some free time so I got out my box of DVD’s and dug up the first two spanking DVD’s that Shadowlane produced in the latter part of the 1980s. The videos in question are Tony and Eve – A College Fantasy and Temptations By Eve.

If you have read this blog for any length of time then you already know that Tony and Eve – A College Fantasy (my review) has always been my favorite spanking film, and it remains so to this day. The first time that I bought this film, roughly, was around 1989/1990. Out of courtesy to Shadowlane I will add that in regards to quality, this film is not reflective of Shadowlane’s current high standard of video quality. It was filmed in 1986, long before even the common man could own a high definition camera. In fact now that I think of it, with the video editing software that I have for my Youtube channel, I wonder if I can improve the quality of the video?

It’s funny that I mention Youtube actually. When I first started out on Youtube I had read a very important article regarding the quality of videos. The expert writing the article had said that you can get away with a lower quality video, just as long as the audio is high quality. However, you cannot get away with a high quality video if the audio is sub standard. That is the reason why to me the video quality of Tony and Eve is insignificant. What matters most is the dialogue exchanged between the two of them, the spankings themselves, and, it is rarely said like this, the mischievous imp that is Eve Howard. The pacing of the film is astonishing, none of this wham, bam, thank you ma’am type of spanking, the film is completely about the interactions between two people. Don’t get me wrong, the spankings themselves are awesome, I think ‘Sound’ is an appropriate description for them.

Do you want to see the current selection of high quality videos from Shadowlane? Then look no further than right here. SHADOWLANE STORE.

When I came to America I had all of these wonderful spanking thoughts and dreams, but whenever I would see or read about spanking in the UK it always seemed to be done in a cold, uncaring environment. Everything had to be the cane, the absolute cane and nothing but the cane. It didn’t reach the fantasies that I had by any stretch of the imagination.

One of the first videos that I purchased in America was a Nuwest title called ‘Out of the closet’. It starred Eve Howard and Tony Elka along with Ed Lee and Michelle. The first spanking was Eve over Michelle’s lap, then Eve and Michelle are spanked simultaneously over the laps of both men. Finally, Michelle gets the hairbrush from Ed in a scene that I couldn’t even watch. Quite likely you won’t find a harder hairbrush spanking on video, which, unfortunately for me is the polar opposite of what I seek to watch. It goes along with that cold, uncaring environment that I spoke of earlier.

On my next trip to the spanking store, Kinematics (quite likely the next day back then, lol) I found another video featuring Eve Howard. This time it was the above named Tony and Eve – A College Fantasy. Now had the severity of ‘Out of the closet’ been severe right from the get go for every spanking, quite likely I would have never bought Tony and Eve. But I had seen something that I liked that I wanted to see more of.

Now I have heard from both Tony and Eve regarding the quality of the older videos compared to today’s videos, and in fact Tony and I had many a conversation about it at spanking parties over the years. I really do understand where they are coming from, but I hope that Tony understood before he passed away just how important that video was to a great many of us. A spanking film with oodles of levity in it, it was exactly what we had all dreamed of seeing.

I would even go as far as to say that the film completely changed my life. Back then I thought about spanking 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, but up until that point I had never seen what I had wanted to see in a spanking film. Nuwest had given glimpses of it for years, certainly from the old fashioned spanking point of view. Shadowlane on the other hand, why it was like they put their hand into your mind and said “I think this is what you want”. Man alive how true they were, it was everything that I had ever dreamed of and hoped for. Are Shadowlane responsible for Richard Windsor emigrating to America? No!! However, they are a huge part of WHY I wanted to move to America. Their vision is exactly the same vision that I had and wanted, and dare I say craved. Back then spanking was my everything, and I finally found what I had always hoped for. I never wanted to leave America after that, and save for an enforced 18 month residency in the UK between 1992 and 1994, I have been here since 1988 having spent 6 months here in 1987.

Nostalgia is good!! I lost my way in the spanking world a couple of years ago, mostly because of the personal trauma that I had to endure when all of my family passed away one after the other. It even got to a point where someone completely turned me off of spanking. Think about that for a minute, the one thing that I have always devoted my life to, now all of a sudden I hated it all and wanted nothing more to do with it.

My guess is that everything came to a head. With the trauma that I had personally suffered combined with the thoughts that I had about spanking for years, all of a sudden it came crashing down when the disrespectful behavior became intolerable. The spanking thought’s that I refer to was everything up until around 2016. It seems rather silly to put it into writing and perhaps even harder to explain, but I had spanking scenes between 2003 (when I became active) and 2016 that at one time I could have only ever have dreamed of. Everything that I ever wanted, times ten, I was lucky enough to get. I met some truly wonderful people and play partners who I will always have a soft spot for.

The best thing that I ever did was to delete my social media accounts. It was difficult at first because that was the main way that I kept in touch with people, but as I mentioned in the paragraph above, it became intolerable. I deleted all of my social media, scrubbed this website of all pictures, stories, mentions, videos and comments that no longer had a part in my life, and then did the same on my external drives. I deleted everything, both vanilla and spanking related that turned me off of spanking.

Do you know what happened on the way to the fair though? Slowly, very slowly, spanking started to be exciting again. We are talking like a three year break here, from my last days at the Atlantic City spanking party in 2019 when I was as close as I have ever been to hollering at some incredibly rude people, lol (Thanks InspectHerHide for noticing and acting upon it, you saved my reputation :)) to now, where I haven’t actually played in the traditional sense for three years.

There are still things that I want to do, there are still scenes that will fill out my bucket list card, and most importantly there are probably still people who I have yet to meet who are going to have a positive, impactful bearing on my life. Unfortunately I don’t think that I will ever return to spanking parties, that isn’t something that appeals to me anymore. However, when I originally started in the scene I first attended some small gatherings, and that is perhaps something that I may do in the future. In fact I might even be the person organizing these gatherings, I am sure that there are many of my kind who have the same values that I do regarding spanking.

There is still much to learn.

One other thought that I often have is someone in the spanking world who I respect, but who will no longer talk to me. On Facebook I always had two accounts. One of the accounts was me, Richard Windsor in real life where everyone knows who he is and what he does, but I also had a vanilla profile for spanking friends who were not ‘out’. One day a friend posted a linked story on the vanilla account and I took that same link, posted it on my real account along with some smart assed comment such as “Can you believe this religious bullshit”?

Now first things first, I was the one at fault, nobody else. At the time I was not aware that the person who originally posted the article was going to see my post as a “Friend of a friend” which is what my Facebook post settings were set to. Had I have known that they were going to see it, never in a million years would I have posted it. That’s so important for me to say because I would never go out of my way to be spiteful or malicious towards another person, that’s just not in my character and I was horrified that she saw the post, truly horrified.

The thing is though, I did post it, and she did see it, and perhaps quite rightfully she felt betrayed by my posting. Now my thoughts on the posting are as true now as they were then, we both feel strongly about our respective viewpoints, but as a friend I should have never have posted what I posted because it was disrespectful. So my friend confronted me, and that is important to say because I respect her. She didn’t get someone else to do her dirty work for her, she didn’t trash me online to court public sympathy, she confronted me privately where only her and I are aware of what was said.

The bottom line is that it cost me a friendship, my long time friend wasn’t able to remain friends with me because of what I had done and what my opinions were on the subject matter. And there is nobody to blame but myself, it was my behavior that caused the friendship to cease to be. There were a few things afterwards that were said that I didn’t appreciate, but I am smart enough to know that these were comments made in the heat of the moment. You may also be wondering why I am still calling this person a friend seven years later after they have disowned me, lol, well, they were always a friend of mine and they still are, I’m just not a friend of theirs anymore.

There was a lesson that I learned that day, a very important lesson. Since that day I have not posted about my Atheist views. My opinions on theology will never change, and if asked I will respond honestly with my truthful opinion. However, there is no need for me to shout it out from the rooftops that I am an Atheist, sometimes it is much better to keep your big mouth shut πŸ™‚

6 thoughts on “On A Nostalgia Trip

  1. I too lost a very good friend online by suggesting too strongly that she become a published writer as her prose was so engaging. I pushed too hard, and I lost her totally as a friend. It is times like that when we realize the power and the shortcomings of posting anything online. Somehow, even posting friends seem somehow closer than those we actually know and the loss is all the more powerful!

    As for being an atheist, I have lived most of my life with religion awash in my life, however, even I can concede the only proof of anything after life is completely unavailable. We all want there to be meaning and reason for the workings of our lives and the world. We want to believe there is a higher reason for all our inane sufferings. It is all about faith, and anyone’s faith can be tested and broken given life’s harsh realities!

    To be honest, we are all Atheists, each and every time we do bad things on purpose. If our faith were real we wouldn’t do what we do. I have nothing but admiration for those decent people that are decent for no other good reason than it is the right thing to do. Not a fear of eternal damnation.

    I only bring any of this up because, who we are and what we believe is wonderous and unexplainable the world over. We should concentrate on what makes any of us a human being and unique on that front. There is so much push to uniformity and conformity, but it is the other that excites change. Heck our “Kink” should prove that alone. There are strong feelings across the board as to what is right and wrong. People are opinionated, with such strong feelings that they close down non-conformists like they are the devil incarnate. Try writing a spanking story where the woman or man spanked in non-consenting and see where that gets you! Imagine John Wayne’s McClintock asking Maureen O’Hara’s character if she will take a sound public spanking for acting the bitch! Yeah, that would film so well! Enough said!

    As always, thank you so much sharing the older pics. They are like finding a lost treasure, each and every one. Just imagine how many are lost forever, never to be seen again. You are like the Indie Jones of the spanking world, discovering ancient gems and displaying them to the world for posterity!

    Hey, just a quick question, off topic, and maybe a sore subject, so pass if you wish, but what ever happened to the strictly spanking site and stuff? The material was unmatchable but also now mostly gone from the general public in any form. I loved the stuff with Amber Pixie Wells.

    Thanks again for all you do! The best!

  2. Fatherjim,

    While the friendship ended online, this was actually a friend in real life as well. As I was at fault all I could do was apologize, but I understand why that apology wasn’t accepted. When it comes to things being written online I am generally not that bothered by it, words can appear harsher than they are meant to be when they are posted online. In regards to doing bad things on purpose, that isn’t something that I can relate to, that isn’t something that is in my character to deliberately do bad things. Obviously we all inadvertently do things that aren’t appreciated by others, but I would never do so maliciously nor do I accept people in my life who do.

    When it comes to faith I can only think that it is a good thing. If your faith helps carry you through bad times then that has to be a positive in anyone’s book. Even with religion, I have no problem with anyone’s religion or their beliefs, unless they are imposing them on others. That was a rabbit hole that I went down. I’m an Atheist, there was no reason for me to impose that on others. My mind can’t be changed on the subject so why get into disagreements over it? Like you said, life is about being a decent person and doing decent things, that is how I judge my relationships with others, not the religion that they follow.

    You are correct, there is so much to our lifestyle, something that I never imagined would be so. Each scene can have so many kinks applied to it. Some of us are more traditional, whereas others are more experimental. The spanking world has changed my outlook on life so much, and for the better I think. Even when bad things happen I like to think that my life improves because of it.

    One example is emotional manipulation. I never actually realized just how much emotional manipulation bothers me, I consider it a pretty shitty thing to do. So I was able to take what I learned in the spanking world and I applied that to my personal life, and you know what, I’m better for it. My personal relationships have improved because of it because emotional manipulation is a hard limit for me, and that really helps when dealing with interpersonal relationships.


  3. Friends, real friends, are so few and far between in life. Losing one for any reason is a hard hit.

    I like your outlook! I believe good can come from anything as well. That is where our part of life comes in, our purpose, making lemonade from lemons, maybe even with a little sugar thrown in from time to time as we go along!

    One thing I am positive about is that negativity gets us nowhere. LOL!

    Hey, thanks for sharing!

  4. I like nostalgia as well.most of what responses I try to make are supposed to be encouraging and for quite a while I was a lurker so people would not take offence.when I first started nu-West was the only game in town (that I knew of) and most other things were the magazine and newsletter route.I have never been a hard spanking fan and I really enjoy all the playful spankings that you have posted. I enjoy your narratives within your blogs as we do share similar ideals. Thanks again for all you share.have a great day.

  5. Fatherjim,

    A lot of it has to do with my age as well, I don’t have much time left to deal with bullshit. Whatever time I have left is going to be enjoyable. In the past I used to be very blasΓ© about losing friendships as it was, but it is quite the change nowadays, my tolerance level is literally zero. Everyone is free to wallow in their own misery and I will enjoy learning about cultures around the world πŸ™‚


  6. Jim I get that. Over on Twitter I observed for a long time the disrespect that was being hurled at one man. He’s just a friendly guy who wouldn’t harm a fly, and yet every time he would make a comment there would be a gaggle of girls hating on him. Not just him, practically anyone that they perceived as weak would get the group attack. So I definitely understand about not wanting to comment anywhere. As I have mentioned several times already, my life is significantly better for leaving social media.

    Right now there are still us pre-Internet folks taking part in online activity, but in 20 years or so virtually everyone in the online spanking community would have grown up with a computer readily accessible for almost their whole lives. A part of me is very interested in knowing what online interactions are going to be like in 20 years time, specifically when it comes to a small sexual lifestyle.

    What I actually believe is probably really way out there. But I think that most people will eventually get so turned off by online behavior that the times will start to reverse themselves. People will only engage in real time in person, but of course will still have the added bonus that spanking companies will still exist online. I’m not going to be around to see it happen, but I think that within 5 to 10 years online engagement is going to rapidly decline in the community. Only an echo chamber will remain.


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